graveyardsmash | TEST DRIVE MEME

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test drive

TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: MARCH

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched with your mouth full of sand. The salt water causes various cuts and scrapes on your skin to sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean. There are lights in the distance but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not, you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already SOME the natives are trying to get on your good side. Offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous people who had them saying they are lies, or pointing out good "jokes." Then there's the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky. Torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien. Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines. Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? NOTE: Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Selling involves having materials that are able to be exchanged for your goods or services. This is something that I lack. [As well as arms, evidently. The teenage girl who is within reasonable distance of him is on her side, curling her legs and trying to squirm upright, evidently uncomfortable despite her stoic face. After some amount of kicking, she gets herself sitting up, and she shakes the sand out of her hair like a small dog.]

There is a 2% probability this is Hyrule, and there is a 99% chance that I am not supposed to be like this. [She turns to Wrench, her glassy, solid blue eyes boring into him.] You who adorns a mask on their face. I humbly request you inform me of our present location.

[Okay, well. That took a turn for the literal. But... he waves a hand. Strange girls without arms on mysterious beaches are reasonable, probably, but nothing to take the mask off around.] Well then... I am here, turns out.

[He looks to the left, then the right, then back at her. Normally, the mask would display a couple of question marks, but since the water must have screwed it up, it remains blank. It'll be a while before Wrench gets to survey the actual damage.]

We are... on the beach. A beach. Somewhere. Nowhere I fucking recognize but that just means we've been shipwrecked, obviously. [Says he who is reasonably sure he hasn't been on a boat in the last couple of weeks at least.] Don't tell me you don't remember shit either. [If this is gonna be a pattern...]

[Since she doesn't know that such masks can change their features, Fi simply thinks there is nothing wrong with the man. However, what she does find strange is with herself, and her inability to magically know his name and some basic facts about him. The corners of her mouth twitch a bit, but her face betrays not much more.]

I should be in the temple where I remain in slumber. There should be no reason I am on the beach, especially looking like this. I am without my charge either.

... I have no recollection of what happened before I became dormant. This is unfortunate, and we will need to collect data to figure out how we got here.

[Despite her heavy purple cloak being waterlogged, the girl is surprisingly strong for her stature, and she rocks back without falling over entirely. She focuses her energy together and with a hard push of her legs, she flips up to try and stand. While certainly impressive she managed to get to her feet, she remains upright for five seconds before she loses balance and lands on her face.]

... A slight miscalculation on my part. I believe I am not accustomed to being subject to gravitational forces.

[Wrench winces behind the mask, and almost extends a hand for her to grab to help her up, then realizes what a futile gesture that'd be, so he doesn't. Instead he crosses his arms. He's about to say something when what she says actually hits him.]

Gravitational... are you from space? Ho-lee shit! [His 'face' is a lot less expressive without a functioning mask, but his body language more than makes up for it. And his words... language. He stares at her, looking for any indication of alien shit.]

Don't know how much data we're gonna be collecting, though. All of my shit is gone. [He can't hack anything, and he can't even wreck it to make himself feel better, unless he lucks out on a good piece of driftwood. Which... well, he'll take a look later.

A pause.]

You... okay?

Not from space. However, I am used to having the ability to fly. Walking is not a familiar skill for me, but I am aware of the concept.

[She sticks her tongue out, making sure there's no sand in her mouth before she gives a sigh. Perhaps her solid blue eyes would be indicative she was alien in nature, as well as her bright blue hair but besides that there's not much else. That blue crystal on her chest is interesting though]

We will obtain it through observation and inquiring when we can. Hopefully the local fauna, if there are any, are sentient.

[She looks down and rolls onto her stomach. She stares down at her human form and then tries to will her cloak to move, like she would usually when it was part of her body. Nothing happens.]

There is a 90% chance I require assistance.

Edited 2017-03-11 12:59 (UTC)

Well that's fucking cool. You just hover or something? Did your shit break too? [As a twentysomething hacker type in California, weird contacts and hairdye and body mods are pretty normal to him. Flying is not so normal. But since his mask's fucked up, maybe whatever makes her fly's also fucked up.]

I am not talking to sentient puppies. You can't make me. But if there's some other people around, maybe I can beat the info out of them.

[It's not clear whether he's kidding or not.

He reaches a hand out, then pauses.]

Should I grab your shoulders or what?

I hover and I am able to fly. These are the capabilities I was built with by my creator. Unfortunately I indeed may be broken, or at least my spirit displaced. This body is not what I am accustomed to.

[Fi does not seem perturbed to the mention of violence. She's a sword after all, so she merely nods.] Understood. If puppies or other non-humanoid creatures are the dominant species, I will converse with them. Otherwise I will allow you to fight them as necessary.

Logically it would be easier to grab my waist or my hip areas so you will be able to push my ribs up and help my stance in the process. However if you can find a good grip on my shoulders, you may grab me there if it is more comfortable.

Built? [Now that's a surprise. She doesn't look like a robot. This is some freaky Pinocchio shit.] Well, hey, I build shit too. [And destroy it, but you don't tell people that. He can have something resembling tact sometimes.] Maybe they switched your hardware without telling you. Fuckin' rude, but it happens.

[He looks about as relieved as a guy whose face is hidden can look about the puppies.] Good. That's... an acceptable solution or some shit.

Hey, whatever works out for you. But if you start yelling I might get startled and start punching. [...Things happen sometimes. But either way, he leans down to get a hold on her waist so he can help her get up.] Up you go.

That would be most inconvenient... though I do not understand how they can force me to breathe and blink. Those were unnecessary before, and I am certain that this body is organic. [She rubs her foot against her leg and confirms the feeling she has in there.]

You need not worry. I am aware of your presence. [She waits for him to grab her waist and she does flinch a little, but she is soundless. She's very light and quite small, so there's almost no effort when it comes to hauling her up. When she comes to her feet, she finds her balance quickly, though the weight on her feet is awkward and unfamiliar.]

That would be satisfactory. Thank you for your assistance. Hopefully i can replay you in future.

Maybe they fuckin' turned you into a cyborg. 'Course, where they got the body in the first place seems kinda sketchy, and who the fuck doesn't give their cyborg any arms? But hey, I am not the criminal mastermind in this particular situation.

[Helping her up is no trouble at all, although he's really gotta wonder even more what the hell is up with this place.]

I take cash, no checks.

[The smile beneath his mask goes unseen as he jerks a thumb at the lights in the distance.]

So, you wanna get the fuck out of here and see what those lights are all about, or go for a lovely long walk on the beach so you can talk to crabs?

[Fi quickly deduces from his word what a cyborg is, and for the first time her expression changes, a slight wrinkle of her nose, indicating her disgust. However, it fades quickly and she gives a nod.] We will just have to find the mastermind of this and make them pay.

[She has every intent on kicking them in the face. She's supposed to be put to rest already.] I have noted that for future transactions.

[Fi looks up and after making sure she has her balance, she begins to walk. The first step is shaky, but after a moment she seems to find a rhythm to move away from the beach.] We should see the lights. If the crabs are able to converse with us, we can find them later. We should deal with the important beacon.

... According to your social customs, I should provide you with my personal designation. Fi is the name I was given.

That's what I'm talking about, [he says, cheerfully. Hey, you don't go making people into cyborgs without their permission, right? So when someone does, it's absolutely grounds for a revenge quest. And he's gonna help out.]

You'd think it's important, but then it ends up being a billboard for divorce lawyers, and then where do you go from there? But it's not like we got instructions, so that way we go.

[Divorce lawyers or no divorce lawyers. He starts that way, then turns to look at her again.]

Cool name. They call me Wrench. I also call me Wrench.

I am unfamiliar with what that phrase here, but with the assumption that 'lawyers' are people, and their light-projecting billboard is still functional and using power, then there is a 76% chance that someone would be occupying that space. The chance they will be unable to assist us is 90% but with general knowledge such as the name of the land and where is it on the map would be most helpful.

[Fi acknowledges his look with a nod of her head.]

Wrench. Whether by fate or by coincidence we have joined forces, I do not know, but at least for this point of time I will help you as best as I am able to.

Guess it depends if you think lawyers are people or not, [he says with a shrug as he heads forward. The way he says things, anything could be a joke. Or it could be serious. Which is it? He'll never tell.] Best case scenario, we find a gas station or something. We can get a map and snacks.

[Aaaaand maybe borrow a car!]

Definitely appreciated. [Nothing wrong with working alone, but somewhere like this, a little backup's nice.] Let's figure this shit out.

I do not have sufficient data on lawyers, so I will reserve any statements that I can possibly make or not with them. [Seems like she is taking everything quite seriously.] It seems that plan will be appropriate. Though I would like to inquire more about this gas station and its designated function.

[Fi is all for going fast. Her travels are rather steady, all things considered. Even flying through the skies at boosted speeds seem leisurely.]

Perhaps if we proceed slowly through our memories, we will be able to find why we were brought here. For myself, this is not the first time my memories were concealed from me, though I did not think I would lose them again when I entered my slumber.

You know what cars are at least, right? [He hopes she knows what cars are at least.] Gas makes 'em go, fill 'em up at gas stations, they have little stores where all your snacky desires are fulfilled. They'd be pretty likely to have a map. If I had my phone or my computer I could just bring up a fucking map, but I don't so we're stuck looking for one.

[He's really gonna miss his shit if he didn't just misplace it, holy shit.]

And if we find a car, then we don't have to go on foot, and can figure our shit out a lot faster. And I know how to borrow one.

[He seems very pleased at the prospect.].

Last thing I remember... ehhhh, hanging out with some friends. I wouldn't be surprised if we got really fucked up, buuuut it just doesn't feel right. This ain't a hangover. No way. Not the right signs.

... No. I am aware of carts, as in automated mine carts, but not cars. [The sword tilts her head and she frowns. Now he's speaking of technologies that do not exist.] ... Are you from the future? This is the only data I can surmise.

[She sounds worried, even if her face looks as unbothered as i did before.]

Ah yes, the human custom of consuming copious amounts of alcohol. I would scan you to double check if you had those substances inside of you, but I do not have my scanners.

Okay, uh, similar principle, less track and less... gold prospectors or whatever. Hunk of metal on wheels, drives around, makes a satisfying explosion sometimes. [And aren't those the important points?] Well, when are you from? It's kinda weird you've got scanners and shit but not cars. I thought those came earlier.

[He waves a hand.] Eh, don't bother. Okay, I mean, you can't bother, but you wouldn't have to bother anyway. Shit happened, I'm here, I'm gonna figure it out.

Timeshift stones. The only mining operations that I've been able to record are ones from the desert, where the animatronics were mining timeshift stones. I do not believe they used wheels however, but travelled magnetically and hovered above the tracks there. There were no explosions, unless a bomb flower was thrown at them.

When? It has been several hundred years since I was first created and then put into slumber. When I was last conscious, the year it was for humans is [Fi rattles off a date and numbers that don't even remotely translate well to English] Tell me from what era are you from?

Indeed. That is the most practical way to go about things. [Ugh... Why does that landmark look so far?]

Okay, cool, maglev minecarts. I've never heard of that. I-- [He cuts off, train of thought gone, staring at her.]

...Bomb flower?

[WELL SHIT NOW HE NEEDS ONE. Or two. A whole bouquet, even.

But, wait, focus.]

I'm gonna level with you. I have nooooo idea what you just said. Late 2010s around here, dunno if you'd call that an era.

But yeah, that's me. Aaaall about practical. Practically getting shit done.

Yes. The flower's fruit are highly explosive, and when the stem is exposed to air without the roots connected or within a special container, they explode. These explosions are highly dangerous, and are capable of killing monsters and removing large rocks out of the way with extreme efficiency.

[The girl tilts her head and does some math.]

... I wonder how long I have been in slumber, and if this body is a result of my other form decaying. Our time periods have no correspondence on any level.

I am glad I have found a like-minded companion. [Fi is all about her mission and her mission alone.]

That's fucking awesome. I want one! I want a whole fucking plant! Or at least some seeds. I could grow me a whole garden full of explosives. I've never had a garden, but everyone's gotta start somewhere.

[Someone has apparently heard the coolest idea ever.]

Hey, maybe you're the alien and you crash landed here or something. Orrr I'm the alien, only I never knew, and I'm gonna be a fucking superhero.

But yeah, don't worry, we're gonna actually figure something out.

If there is one in this land, I shall inform you of its presence. Having a steady supply of bombs flowers is always useful.

[Fi does not see this as concerning, which may be seen as concerning in itself.]

I am not an alien. I am a sword spirit. Though it may be that I am considered an alien sword to other people. More data will be needed to form a reasonable hypothesis.

[She hopes so. She doesn't like feeling so vulnerable... and walking is really tiring too.]

Hell yeah I bet it is. I mean, I'm no slouch with explosives, but having 'em just fucking grow out of the ground? Sign me up.

[Well, Wrench certainly doesn't see it as concerning!]

Does an alien really know they're an alien? Like, we could get ten thousand kinds of philosophical here. I'll be the alien if you don't want to be, though. We'll figure shit out.

[Maybe he's going to have to drag her around in a little red wagon.]

They grow at a remarkably fast rate too. If we can procure them off a merchant here, that would good. [She has little to no experience with gardening, but she knows the theory from her scans before and that's what counts. It'll be next to impossible to find them here, but they'll improvise.]

If they are aware they are in a world not their own, perhaps. The lack of monsters here lead me to believe this is not Hyrule.

[That would be nice. She's good at sitting still as much she is good at dancing.]

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ack i thought i replied to this! Sorry! Also gl for your app!

no worries, and thank you!

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