graveyardsmash | TEST DRIVE MEME

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test drive

TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: MARCH

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched with your mouth full of sand. The salt water causes various cuts and scrapes on your skin to sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean. There are lights in the distance but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not, you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already SOME the natives are trying to get on your good side. Offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous people who had them saying they are lies, or pointing out good "jokes." Then there's the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky. Torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien. Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines. Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? NOTE: Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Fi quickly deduces from his word what a cyborg is, and for the first time her expression changes, a slight wrinkle of her nose, indicating her disgust. However, it fades quickly and she gives a nod.] We will just have to find the mastermind of this and make them pay.

[She has every intent on kicking them in the face. She's supposed to be put to rest already.] I have noted that for future transactions.

[Fi looks up and after making sure she has her balance, she begins to walk. The first step is shaky, but after a moment she seems to find a rhythm to move away from the beach.] We should see the lights. If the crabs are able to converse with us, we can find them later. We should deal with the important beacon.

... According to your social customs, I should provide you with my personal designation. Fi is the name I was given.

That's what I'm talking about, [he says, cheerfully. Hey, you don't go making people into cyborgs without their permission, right? So when someone does, it's absolutely grounds for a revenge quest. And he's gonna help out.]

You'd think it's important, but then it ends up being a billboard for divorce lawyers, and then where do you go from there? But it's not like we got instructions, so that way we go.

[Divorce lawyers or no divorce lawyers. He starts that way, then turns to look at her again.]

Cool name. They call me Wrench. I also call me Wrench.

I am unfamiliar with what that phrase here, but with the assumption that 'lawyers' are people, and their light-projecting billboard is still functional and using power, then there is a 76% chance that someone would be occupying that space. The chance they will be unable to assist us is 90% but with general knowledge such as the name of the land and where is it on the map would be most helpful.

[Fi acknowledges his look with a nod of her head.]

Wrench. Whether by fate or by coincidence we have joined forces, I do not know, but at least for this point of time I will help you as best as I am able to.

Guess it depends if you think lawyers are people or not, [he says with a shrug as he heads forward. The way he says things, anything could be a joke. Or it could be serious. Which is it? He'll never tell.] Best case scenario, we find a gas station or something. We can get a map and snacks.

[Aaaaand maybe borrow a car!]

Definitely appreciated. [Nothing wrong with working alone, but somewhere like this, a little backup's nice.] Let's figure this shit out.

I do not have sufficient data on lawyers, so I will reserve any statements that I can possibly make or not with them. [Seems like she is taking everything quite seriously.] It seems that plan will be appropriate. Though I would like to inquire more about this gas station and its designated function.

[Fi is all for going fast. Her travels are rather steady, all things considered. Even flying through the skies at boosted speeds seem leisurely.]

Perhaps if we proceed slowly through our memories, we will be able to find why we were brought here. For myself, this is not the first time my memories were concealed from me, though I did not think I would lose them again when I entered my slumber.

You know what cars are at least, right? [He hopes she knows what cars are at least.] Gas makes 'em go, fill 'em up at gas stations, they have little stores where all your snacky desires are fulfilled. They'd be pretty likely to have a map. If I had my phone or my computer I could just bring up a fucking map, but I don't so we're stuck looking for one.

[He's really gonna miss his shit if he didn't just misplace it, holy shit.]

And if we find a car, then we don't have to go on foot, and can figure our shit out a lot faster. And I know how to borrow one.

[He seems very pleased at the prospect.].

Last thing I remember... ehhhh, hanging out with some friends. I wouldn't be surprised if we got really fucked up, buuuut it just doesn't feel right. This ain't a hangover. No way. Not the right signs.

... No. I am aware of carts, as in automated mine carts, but not cars. [The sword tilts her head and she frowns. Now he's speaking of technologies that do not exist.] ... Are you from the future? This is the only data I can surmise.

[She sounds worried, even if her face looks as unbothered as i did before.]

Ah yes, the human custom of consuming copious amounts of alcohol. I would scan you to double check if you had those substances inside of you, but I do not have my scanners.

Okay, uh, similar principle, less track and less... gold prospectors or whatever. Hunk of metal on wheels, drives around, makes a satisfying explosion sometimes. [And aren't those the important points?] Well, when are you from? It's kinda weird you've got scanners and shit but not cars. I thought those came earlier.

[He waves a hand.] Eh, don't bother. Okay, I mean, you can't bother, but you wouldn't have to bother anyway. Shit happened, I'm here, I'm gonna figure it out.

Timeshift stones. The only mining operations that I've been able to record are ones from the desert, where the animatronics were mining timeshift stones. I do not believe they used wheels however, but travelled magnetically and hovered above the tracks there. There were no explosions, unless a bomb flower was thrown at them.

When? It has been several hundred years since I was first created and then put into slumber. When I was last conscious, the year it was for humans is [Fi rattles off a date and numbers that don't even remotely translate well to English] Tell me from what era are you from?

Indeed. That is the most practical way to go about things. [Ugh... Why does that landmark look so far?]

Okay, cool, maglev minecarts. I've never heard of that. I-- [He cuts off, train of thought gone, staring at her.]

...Bomb flower?

[WELL SHIT NOW HE NEEDS ONE. Or two. A whole bouquet, even.

But, wait, focus.]

I'm gonna level with you. I have nooooo idea what you just said. Late 2010s around here, dunno if you'd call that an era.

But yeah, that's me. Aaaall about practical. Practically getting shit done.

Yes. The flower's fruit are highly explosive, and when the stem is exposed to air without the roots connected or within a special container, they explode. These explosions are highly dangerous, and are capable of killing monsters and removing large rocks out of the way with extreme efficiency.

[The girl tilts her head and does some math.]

... I wonder how long I have been in slumber, and if this body is a result of my other form decaying. Our time periods have no correspondence on any level.

I am glad I have found a like-minded companion. [Fi is all about her mission and her mission alone.]

That's fucking awesome. I want one! I want a whole fucking plant! Or at least some seeds. I could grow me a whole garden full of explosives. I've never had a garden, but everyone's gotta start somewhere.

[Someone has apparently heard the coolest idea ever.]

Hey, maybe you're the alien and you crash landed here or something. Orrr I'm the alien, only I never knew, and I'm gonna be a fucking superhero.

But yeah, don't worry, we're gonna actually figure something out.

If there is one in this land, I shall inform you of its presence. Having a steady supply of bombs flowers is always useful.

[Fi does not see this as concerning, which may be seen as concerning in itself.]

I am not an alien. I am a sword spirit. Though it may be that I am considered an alien sword to other people. More data will be needed to form a reasonable hypothesis.

[She hopes so. She doesn't like feeling so vulnerable... and walking is really tiring too.]

Hell yeah I bet it is. I mean, I'm no slouch with explosives, but having 'em just fucking grow out of the ground? Sign me up.

[Well, Wrench certainly doesn't see it as concerning!]

Does an alien really know they're an alien? Like, we could get ten thousand kinds of philosophical here. I'll be the alien if you don't want to be, though. We'll figure shit out.

[Maybe he's going to have to drag her around in a little red wagon.]

They grow at a remarkably fast rate too. If we can procure them off a merchant here, that would good. [She has little to no experience with gardening, but she knows the theory from her scans before and that's what counts. It'll be next to impossible to find them here, but they'll improvise.]

If they are aware they are in a world not their own, perhaps. The lack of monsters here lead me to believe this is not Hyrule.

[That would be nice. She's good at sitting still as much she is good at dancing.]

That sounds incredible and even better every second. And every second, I don't have any. Let's find that shit.

[Bomb flower sellers! Sure! Gotta be something like that somewhere!

Or he'll cry.]

It's kind of a quiet place, ain't it? Maybe there's monsters, but in the water or something. What kinda monsters you looking for? Although maybe looking for monsters is probably a bad idea what with not having guns or anything.

Of course we are going under the assumption that this flora is native to this land.

[Fi looks around. Already this world looks nothing like the surface, nor does it resemble Skyloft. Even in her short time of being sentient, it's sad to see all of this.]

The most common enemy is the bokoblin, a red, impish creature that is quite aggressive and serves evil. However, I am trying to be aware of any other threats, more natural ones such as Octoroks and Deku Babas. These organisms have been around for centuries, so I was looking for traces of them to orientate myself.

I am a sword. I am capable of fighting any foe. [She is a small girl with some toned legs and little else going for her.]

It better be, or I'm gonna demand my money back.

[He's got hopes and dreams riding on this bomb flower shit, man!]

All of those, huh? We'll keep an eye out for your little monsters.

[It's really, really hard not to say he's so hungry he can eat an Octorok, but he manages. Somehow.]

Okay, you might usually be a sword, but you're kinda on the squishy side right now, so I don't think we're gonna be swinging you at anything right now. So lemme just find something nice and heavy in case I gotta smash something, okay?

I am still capable of fighting like this. But perhaps I should do some tests to see how durable this body is. [Fi looked around. There's not much around really to train on, but she does see some flat rocks, large and buried in the stand. She stares at it, running calculations before she walks up to it.

And then axe kicks it.]

.... Ow.

... It did not break.

This must be the sensation humans associate with pain. How unpleasant.

[Raising an eyebrow behind the mask, Wrench watches her head over to the rocks. Maybe he's gonna pick them up and--

No, no picking them up, she just kicks them. Ouch.

But damn, can he appreciate the effort.]

That's how it's usually supposed to work, yeah. Are you okay?

[Her face returns to perfectly neutral quickly after it shows the grimace of pain. She stares at the rock and taps it with her foot.]

... I now have a more thorough understanding of why humans use swords in battle. The human body is quite fragile. However, I am 90% sure I will be fine and this will cause no permanent injury.

[Well, if she doesn't seem concerned, then there's probably no reason to be concerned anyway.]

Yeah, we're pretty squishy. We really gotta do something to fix it. Buuuut we're also kinda resilient somehow, so don't worry too much.

[He's not really worried she's worried, though.]

Indeed. Humans are made to soak damage instead of inflict it. I have seen my master collide into the ground a number of times when the fall should have killed him. I am not worried.

[She nods.] Hopefully this body will be able to become stronger in time. I will depend on you for a while longer, Wrench.

[At least she doesn't mind if he doesn't.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TEST DRIVE MEME

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ack i thought i replied to this! Sorry! Also gl for your app!

no worries, and thank you!

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