graveyardsmash | TEST DRIVE MEME: JULY / AUGUST

TDM: JULY / AUGUST

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched, with your mouth full of sand. The salt water is making all the cuts and scrapes on your skin sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean.

There are lights in the distance, but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not - you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already some of the natives are trying to get on your good side with offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all on the more informative end of the scale. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous readers saying they're lies, or pointing out good "jokes."

Then there are the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky, torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien.

Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines.

Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He's not, and that hasn't escaped Lovage. He stares at Larry's chest (but not like that) and then looks up at him dubiously.]

But you're not turning into a big titty dragon. Do I get any say in what I am? Being a beaver sounds--

[Watch it, buddy. You know what your uncle can do with those big sad blue eyes.]

--fine, but not really my speed.

You think I picked beaver? [He giggles.] Just like everything else in life -- you have to play with the hand you're dealt! Not everything plays out like The Insult that Made a Man out of Mac.

Besides - I might not have a big chest, but have you seen this ass? Women can't keep their hands off!

[This might be a lie derived from some color of truth. His ass is, after all, very fluffy.]

[Lovage...does not look at Larry's ass. That would be weird.]

Is it blood related? Do I at least get a hint or something? I just want a heads up if I'm gonna turn into something where my dick falls off or whatever.

[Oh wow, he hates thinking about that. Lovage throws back the rest of his moonshine and his body does a great impression of being electrocuted.]

...Ah.

[Not like Larry hasn't dealt with plenty of people trolling him about the idea of losing his dick, no sir.]

I'm afraid not. So, uh...prepare yourself, just in case.

[Hypocritical advice. Larry never came to terms with the idea, so it's good that he ended up with something that wasn't gonna lose his dick.]

Most don't lose their dicks. It's more likely that you'll end up with something that hides it in a pocket...or something like that.

Hide it?! There's no way I can hide this thing!

[He motions to his crotch, as if anyone could behold his glorious rod through those dumb beach shorts anyway.]

I can't turn into something that keeps something this important from the masses! It's basically a crime!

Larry Lovage.

[He tilts his head as he delivers his nephew's full name, which you know he means business.

...but then he softens up a little bit. Lovage doesn't have the extensive years of experience of being in a video game like Larry does, and certainly none of the experience of making them. Of course he's going to face a wall and whine about it like Real People would, instead of looking at it as a new, exciting challenge to surmount.

Larry sighs softly.]

It's gonna be okay.

[He reaches out and puts his fingers through Lovage's hair to give him an assuring head-ruffle.]

I promise.

Edited 2020-08-02 07:47 (UTC)

[Uh-oh. He knows that name and that tone. He freezes up until Larry breaks the tension and ruffles his hair.]

Okay.

[He goes uncharacteristically quiet for a while, kicking his feet against the couch while he stares into the bottom of his empty shotglass.]

But if my dick does fall off, you gotta promise not to laugh.

[Larry chuckles.]

Don't worry -- I'll probably be too busy screaming in abject horror to remember how to laugh!

[He's not a hypocrite, honest. He's just not a whiner.]

[That's okay, Lovage whines enough for both of them. He giggles a little despite (or perhaps because) of the abject horror.]

[His eyes finally wander over to the TV, where Happy Days is playing...well, almost. Fonzie has more gills than he remembers.]

This place seems a little...outdated. [He makes waving motion with his hands that encompasses the fashion, architecture, and now daytime programming that they had encountered so far.] What do you even do for fun around here other than sit around and grow fur?

[He giggles, coming to a proper rest against the back of the couch.]

Yeah, it sure is. The world looked an awful lot like this when I was your age! But what I do is about the same. When I'm not [he points upward, indicating upstairs] working, [he drops his hand] I go out cruising, and...uh, that's about it, I guess.

[Pause.]

No, that's not true. Sometimes I go walking out in the forest. Find a little river bend to chill out at. Usually when I...uh...have trouble sleeping.

[...so does that still count for something he does for fun?]

[Stares.]

That's a whole lotta words to say a whole lotta nothing, Uncle Larry.

[He holds the shotglass up and tips it over his awaiting mouth, just to make extra sure there isn't anymore liquid coping skills left at the bottom.]

That's a lot of empty space open for a hobby. Like drinking. [He lowers the glass and squints into the bottom.] Uh, but maybe with someone else's liquor. I don't wanna get on the bad side of a snake that big again, at least for a while.

[Larry frowns.]

Whaddya mean, "nothing"? You know how dedicated I am to the craft of...romancing the ladies.

[But that still makes it sound like Larry has all this excess free time too, which is not the case. He really doesn't have as much idle time as it sounds. Where does it all go?

...Oh. Wait, he knows.]

Being a real person comes with a lot of commitments! Eight hours of sleep a night, three meals a day, the roof over your head to make sure you can do both of those things...and the job to earn the money you need to accomplish all of that? I don't have as much free time as it sounds, I promise.

[He's not complaining, but man, it sure is a different lifestyle.]

Not sayin' anything about your dedication to the craft, just that 'long walks in the woods' isn't exactly the night life I'm looking for.

[Lovage looks at him like he's growing another head in addition to the fur. Honestly, it'd still be cooler than turning into a beaver. Lovage kinda hopes he gets something like that, actually, for the fellatiopportunities.

Anyway,]

Eight hours?! Do you know how much platforming I could be getting done? How many plotlines I could be not resolving because I'm distracted by collectibles instead? How much masturbating I could be doing?? This is gonna tank my productivity!

[God, just wait until he finds out how long it takes to make and eat food.

Larry gives him a regretful sigh.]

Yeah...I'm afraid that it'll be hard for you to get used to. I mean...you got started pretty early in life! You hadn't even held a job before you started your own adventure. Which--y'know, I'm still proud of you for, but...it's gonna be...

[He grumble-whines at himself.]

I'm worrying too much! You're a smart kid, you'll be able to figure it out. And besides -- you've got your uncle to ask questions if you ever need help!

[Insert gentle elbow jab here.]

[SIGH. Lovage finally puts the shotglass down and leans his head against Larry's shoulder...ish area. It's a pretty marked height difference nowadays.]

Well...I can't worry too hard with you as my tutorial. It worked out the first time!

[He laughs nervously, but it's interrupted by a yawn halfway through. There's that dumb sleeping thing Uncle Larry mentioned, he supposes.]

TEST DRIVE MEME: JULY / AUGUST

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