graveyardsmash | Test drive meme: November

TEST DRIVE MEME: NOVEMBER

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched, with your mouth full of sand. The salt water is making all the cuts and scrapes on your skin sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean.

There are lights in the distance, but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not - you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already some of the natives are trying to get on your good side with offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all on the more informative end of the scale. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous readers saying they're lies, or pointing out good "jokes."

Then there are the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky, torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien.

Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines.

Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Yeah, no. Juno hates--no, he doesn't hate...he greatly dislikes TV personalities, given his experience with the cut-throat entertainment executives back in Hyperion City.

Take Cecil Kanagawa, for example--the obvious result when you give a child genius a stream show and all the money and biological experiments and torture devices he can have. Cecil put out shows like "From the Jaws of Death" and "Colosseum 2: We Gave The Lion A Gun And You Won't Believe What Happens Next", and the Martian public ate it up. Just your typical, family-friendly evening torture streams.

Obviously, not all TV execs are as extreme as Cecil, but as far as Juno's concerned, they're all after one thing: fame and money. So, no, Juno doesn't exactly...completely like Taako right now. But if he's Lup's sibling...he's willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.]

...Right, whatever. I've never watched your TV show, and probably never will, 'cus this place has like, three whole channels. We can discuss whether or not I'm enjoying your presence later.

[Sorry, Taako. He's a grumpy lady. His ears twitch in annoyance as he crosses his arms.]

Your sister told me about you. Said you were a vampire, but you don't...look like one.

[Or smell like one, but he thinks that'd probably be weird to say.]

[See, the problem here is Taako's like 50% that and 50% some goddamn common sense. He's like if Martha Stewart wanted shit to be on fire more than was necessary. He's like if Tim Allen radiated pure glitter, which let's be real, he already kind of does. It's all the energy of Guy Fieri without having to look at Guy Fieri. Honestly just a win all around.

He is after fame and money though. That part? Nah, he's totally got that one.

But Taako raises an eyebrow at the whole thing, because wow, he has some shit to pick apart there.]

Okay, number one, three channels? Bullshit, that's gonna be on the table to fix, man. Uhh, number two, we're gonna walk and talk from here on out because you're gonna take me to wherever Lup is, pronto. Trust me, she'll love you forever for turning my ass up on her doorstep. And three, a vampire? Really? This place saw fit to beat the shit out of me for some horrifying monster thing and it stopped at vampire?

[Taako, no.]

But uh, no my dude, decidedly not that.

[Raises his hands in a defensive manner. Hey, man, he wishes he could bring him to Lup, but this is a test drive meme and ya can't really do that much on here. Or can you?]

Listen, all I know is that she said you were a vampire, and you're, uh, definitely not a vampire from what I can tell. So, unless there's some weird shit going on with the Fog, I can't really answer that. Also, I don't know where she is right now, so I can't really do that. She does have a farm, though, like, a day's ride away from here.

[He crosses his arms, looking only slightly less grumpy than before.] Also, disclaimer: all the technology here sucks. There aren't even any fusion heaters I can heat up my leftovers in. [A pause.] At least, I haven't found any yet.

[His ear twitches as he hears a distant scream. He turns, then gestures for Taako to follow him.] Probably a good idea to keep moving--some of the locals aren't exactly happy to have strangers washing up on their front porch.

[They're two smart and attractive dudes, they can figure something out, let's break the laws of physics and tdms. It's f i n e.]

A day's ride? Yeah, fuck, that filled in a buncha questions there.

[The ship may have been kind of a patch-job junk heap after 100 years but it was their patch job junk heap. Now he has to make do with whatever this is. And worst of, he doesn't even have magic to supplement any shitty conditions. This guy mentions something heaters and one of his hands starts to reach for the component pouch on his hip before he remembers it won't do fuck all. This sucks! This super sucks!

He gets pulled out of it by the yell, rolling his eyes abjectly that direction and giving a flip of his wrist that way to literally brush whoever it is off.]

They live with monsters next door enough to hand out pamphlets and no one can handle a dude-sized raccoon? Weak. Also, they're the ones who picked to live here, not me. Wouldn't've chosen the beach that beats the shit outta me, I'll tell you that, it doesn't spell cozy!

[He's slipping from 'scared' into a more comfortable coat, called 'pissy'. At least this guy's accommodating.]

Look, just bring me somewhere where I can eat something that's not my own arm and no one will greet me with a shotgun because today's been a lot, my man.

Test drive meme: November

[juno voice] pewish

NOOOO MISTWER JUNWO

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