graveyardsmash | TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: MARCH

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched with your mouth full of sand. The salt water causes various cuts and scrapes on your skin to sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean. There are lights in the distance but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not, you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already SOME the natives are trying to get on your good side. Offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous people who had them saying they are lies, or pointing out good "jokes." Then there's the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky. Torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien. Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines. Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? NOTE: Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh wonderful, it's the peanut gallery. ...Is she a kid? Dandy can't really tell through his rage, but she's acting like any other brat, so he'll go with it.]

IT'S A COMMUNICATOR!!

[To emphasize his point, Dandy slams his bracelet into the lamp post.

...Hard enough that it gives off a tiny spark.

His face instantly falls.]

[ Well that was easy. Though she didn't expect him to slam his bracelet like that. Alice stares at the small device for a minute for breaking into a peal of laughter. ]

Not anymore, it looks like! Not like that puny thing probably worked, anyway, but now it's really really broken~! You sure communicated with the pole, all right!

[ She doubles over laughing. Give her a second, she'll get over it quick. ]

[If he wasn't sure this was his sure fire way of getting off this stupid planet, Dandy would happily continue screaming at her, but his attention turns to his communicator. He visibly pouts as he notices the nice new giant dent it's sporting now, all thanks to his quick thinking.

Or, well, lack of thinking.]

Yeah yeah, I'm a real riot. Don't you have parents you can go piss off now?

[Where are the monsters when you need them? They could eat her...]

[ At the mentioning of her parents Alice sobers up, falling quiet. She straightens up, frowning slightly. ]

They died when I was little.

[ It's more of a ruse than anything to try and get him to feel guilty for getting mad at her, but they did die. Hey, at least they were still good for something, right? ]

Edited 2017-03-11 07:24 (UTC)

[A tiny piece of Dandy, buried deep within the cold expanse that is his heart, might care. A little bit.

But the rest of Dandy is still pissed off.]

Well that explains why no one raised you properly, now get lost.

[ Disappointing! Not even a smidge of the reaction she had in mind. Playing that angle wasn't gonna help anything, it seemed. Oh well. ]

What, so you can talk with your apparent friend who either doesn't exist or can't answer you? [ She drops the pamphlets to cross her arms. ] Last I checked, there's a whole bunch of us stuck in this shithole together, so isn't it best if we all stick together? Who knows what kind of creepy monsters are lurking around here, praying on innocent young girls~!

Edited 2017-03-11 07:43 (UTC)

Tch.

[What a joke.]

Please. Why would they waste their time when there are plenty of real women they can go after? I'm sure they get more out of a chick with big ol' boobies and a nice meaty booty—

[!!!!]

[Dandy has to stop himself, his very words strike fear into his soul, intense shivers running up and down his spine. But that's just it, that's the reality this planet is dealing with, isn't it? These monsters are eating real women, which means...

...which means...]

THOSE BASTARDS ARE EATING THE BOOTY!!

[ Her eyelid twitches. She can't tell if it's from the fact he insinuated she wasn't a real woman, or the fact that he was screaming about eating ass.

Both was probably a valid guess. ]

Man, your priorities are really screwed, aren't they.

[Dandy whips around and points in a way that's far too dramatic for this situation. His priorities are the best priorities and he's not going to have someone tell him otherwise.]

You shut the hell up.

[GOD, he can't even see straight, that's just how enraged he is by the very thought he put into his own head. Dandy's hands shake violently as he holds them up, practically claws, strangling a perpetrator who isn't even there. This planet...it's truly a living hell.]

You don't just waltz into an art museum and take huge bite outta Michelangelo's ass. [Michelangelo was the artist, not the statue— ] The booty is a gift, a fucking masterpiece, it barely gets enough respect as it is! And they're eating it! So where does it go after that?! That's it, it's gone forever, never even had a chance... a chance to... [His hands go from strangling absolutely nothing to groping something equally as nonexistent, his face becoming ridiculously somber. He may very well be on the verge of tears.] It's just not right, baby...

[ For once, she's actually rendered speechless. It takes a minute before she finally replies to, uh, mourn the loss of the aforementioned booty: ]

Uh. I have no idea who you're talking about.

[ May as well be blunt here. Unless you're talking in magic terms, she's probably clueless. ]

You know most of that ass just gets transformed into creepy monsters, right? The ones that get eaten don't really matter; besides, it just goes to show that they didn't have the stuff to make it very far. Their ass doesn't get them very far when they're being devoured by a monster, riiiight~?

[ She's afraid he's going to seriously answer that. ]

Edited 2017-03-12 06:22 (UTC)

[He's going to seriously answer that.]

That's why it's time someone steps up and protects the booty.

[Yes, that's right, Dandy has taken it upon himself to not only protect every ass this planet has to offer from horrible monsters, but also make sure they don't get transformed in the process. ...Unless they're a sexy monster.

Look, monsters need love, too.]

And it's just like you said, it'll go way smoother if we just stick together~

I guess you got your wish after all, baby!

[He's sure she's thrilled.]

[ Mistakes were made. She's now regretting most of this. ]

... Right.

[ She takes about ten steps back. This was way more enjoyable when he was just angry. Now it's just creepy. ]

Only if you tone down the creepiness by a million levels, then I'll think about letting you hang around me. You should just be thankful I've let you be in my presence for as long as you have~!

[ That, or she should be kicking herself for talking to him in the first place. ]

Mhm, sure, whatever.

[Dandy's barely listening, too caught up in his own ideas. There is no slowing down this stupidity train.]

And I'm sure you're thankful that I just made you an honorary member of the booty patrol. [He just made that name up and he already loves it.] At this rate, we're gonna start needing codenames or some shit.

Guess what yours is.

If it's not something even remotely flattering, I'm kicking you in the dick. Just a warning~! ♡

[ You best believe she isn't bluffing. ]

Edited 2017-03-15 05:58 (UTC)

Well, Captain Dick Kick, I hope you like your new name!

[No one said Dandy was a smart man.]

Like it?

[ And as promised, she brings up her knee to jam in between his legs. ]

It's perfect~!

[After making some sort of unholy noise, Dandy falls to the ground.]

TEST DRIVE MEME

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1/2

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i'm screaming?

apologizing forever in advance

honestly i am in love 10/10

oh gosh

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