graveyardsmash | TEST DRIVE MEME

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test drive

TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: SEPTEMBER

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched with your mouth full of sand. The salt water causes various cuts and scrapes on your skin to sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean. There are lights in the distance but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not, you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already SOME the natives are trying to get on your good side. Offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous people who had them saying they are lies, or pointing out good "jokes." Then there's the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky. Torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien. Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines. Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? NOTE: Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't be stupid, even if that were the case, the daimyo are long gone. Centuries old--a noble family with hundreds of years of history wouldn't be uprooted with one case of infedility.

[She sniffs a little more. This... woman definitely smelled of sand and surf. Jeeze, stupid new arrivals.]

Beside, you don't dress like someone who comes from the era of the samurai. You look like some 'bimbo' who's spent her life in the city.

...

[Actually, what she just said is weird. Long gone? Sure, Wor's dead as a doorknob - but it's only been like... what, a day?
Hard to tell when you don't have a sun to fucking measure days with.]

You must be off your rocker, girlie.
One - I know plenty of samurai. I was close with the best one in the country! The Prince of Marionettes himself!
Two - I'm like, pretty sure we're talking about completely different daimyo, here.

"Noble" is the last thing I'd call a man like Wor. Sold his own son's face to the Devil for his own benefit - and for what?
Just to get sliced in half by his own son, like a twisted fuck deserves.

[A short pause -]

And three, I guess; I'm gonna take that as a compliment.
It's not like I've got any reason to dress like some clumsy geisha or something, even though I'd be totally worth three-pronged geta.

[Said as she clicks the black, boot-like geta she's wearing against the asphalt, of course.
Saionji's probably way knowledgeable about this sort of topic... she should know Siouxsie's talking about oiran here, not geisha.]

Like hell I am.

First, 'Prince of Marionettes'? What the hell? Who would call themselves that? None of the famous samurai ever went by that name.

[A wave of her hand.]

Secondly, the daimyo have been in decline for over four centuries and went practically extinct over a century ago. Sure, there's some families that have links but they're just politicians. To add to that point, some of the daimyo are basically national heroes. One only has to think of the Oda Nobunaga!

[She rolls her eyes again, waving her paw in defiance again.]

Thirdly? You shouldn't be. You don't even have the terms correct.

Hey, don't nag me over terms - I'm not a geisha myself. I've got a strict "look, don't touch" policy!

[She doesn't want anyone ruining the merch, man.
The rest though... even though it hurts, she finally moves her hand away from her mask - just so she can look down at her through the eyeholes in confusion.]

... Something's not right, here.
First, I've never heard of this "Nobunaga" guy - Wor's been alive for, like, ever thanks to the whole "sold his son to the Devil" shebang.
We've never had anyone but that old bastard.

Second, the Prince of Marionettes calls himself the Prince of Marionettes because he's a fucking Marionette.
What else would you call a Puppet who actually gives a shit?
Besides a pansy, I mean.

And what's with the "famous samurai" thing? He's the only famous samurai... and that's just 'cause he's a Marionette.
The rest are just as shitty the rest of the Puppets in the land.

[Siouxsie's making no effort in separating herself from that group. She's a Puppet like the rest of them, after all!
All Puppets are horrible and they know it. No exceptions.]

...You know what? We're definitely not talking about the same thing because, one: there were many different daimyo of many different samurai clans. Usually, in the later years, fighting over the title of shogun. Secondly, the concept of 'the Devil' is mostly a Christian and western based one. Which wouldn't have existed to most of the famous ones.

Thirdly, marionettes and puppets aren't actually living things. They're objects. There might be a marionette shaped like a samurai but they couldn't actually do anything.

Whoa, hey, back off on the "o" word - working in the pleasure district makes that kind of touchy, y'know!
... But I think I get what's going on here.

You're one of those monsters that started off as... ugh, what's the word those freaks with the papers used?
Humid? Humate... I know it wasn't "humor" - nothing's funny about getting stuffed into some kind of squishy leather suit.

[That's coupled with a wiggle of her fingers in front of her mask - she's talking about skin. Skin and muscles and other... squishy things.
Puppets have skin, sure - but theirs isn't... entirely he same as a human's.]

Well, whatever. Point is - I dunno what it's like wherever you "humids" live, but Puppets don't live like you hippy-dippy flower children do.
And even if I'm covered in gunk, I've still got all my Puppet parts! Look -

[Siouxsie brings her hands in front of her, then, to pull back on the skin of her finger; taught against the bones and joints underneath it.]

It's just like a Puppet finger! Just... covered in this junk.

[Conveniently, she's skipping over the Christian thing. Just pretend it didn't get brought up.]

Then you're just a pig for sure, you know.

[You slut.]

Human. You mean human and you're talking about actual bodies. Not wood or plastic or whatever.

[Her wings move with her arm as she makes a show of placing a paw to her forehead.]

Those are bones, you shit for brains bitch. You complain about being stuck in a 'meat suit' but I can see you've been stuffing your bra for longer than that.

[Yeah okay. Those are all insults that she got pretty regularly back home, so whatever! She's even baited people into calling her a bitch just for laughs.

It all slides right off her, like she didn't even hear them.]

You're calling me shit for brains, when you clearly don't get what I'm saying?
A little girl who can't even wear a bra shouldn't be flinging around insults they can't back up, y'know.

[... But then she'll let her tone drop, giving up the niceties.]

I'm saying we're not even from the same fucking world, you no legs moron. I've heard people going on about it on the streets or whatever.
Something about other worlds getting all sucked into the same place...?
If that's what's really happening here, then of course we don't have the same idea of what warlords or samurai are like!

Yours are noble and heroic - [A mocking tone-] - while the ones back where I came from kill and pillage on the regular!
I mean, I don't care what they decide to do for fun. It's just not my cup of tea.

[After that, though, she goes quiet for half a second... more a moment of hesitation, before she asks what's on her mind.]

But... does that mean people aren't scared to die where you come from?

[That's the whole reason Puppets make an absolute mockery of morals - life is short, so fuck and kill until you are killed.
C'est la vie.]

Fine, fine, I know all about the different worlds thing but I do know about history so hearing a crappy version of it is just annoying.

[Even if she dislikes her family's legacy, it's pedigree, it's something she knows well and without those stories there wouldn't have been the basis of many kabuki plays. Without those plays, nihon buyo wouldn't have existed.

Without nihon buyo--maybe she's just scared to admit that the concept of a world that's almost like hers but without that profession...

No way.]

Sure, call me a midget. Call me a baby-face but I'm the monster here.

[That gets a pause.]

...No, no it doesn't.

... So, somehow everyone where you come from's just as scared to die as the Puppets where I come from, but they're still nice to each other for no reason?
What the fuck is that about?

They know that's stupid, right?

[Like, what's the point of being nice to someone who could stab you in the back?
She tried that, once, and that's exactly what happened. One moment she's having fun, killing dozens of people with her cool samurai friend... next thing she knows, she's strapped to Lord Wor's immortal machine, getting drained of her life.
After Samhaine saw her chained up and just... stood there.

... Sure, he saved her later, but it still hurt.]

And y'know - I couldn't care less if you think you're a monster. I've had run ins with real monsters before.
You're not a monster on the inside, or I would've been dead the moment I bumped into you.

[Said with a lazy half shrug, as if that's just how things are.]

You mean those idiots around here? It's because if they're nice to you now, they think you'll leave them alone when you start to get the hunger.

If you're talking about the soft-hearted fool who actually believe what they're saying? I don't know either.

[She... tries to understand them. It's more than she used to, when she blew them off as idiots beyond her care. Maybe because she's met more of those soft hearts.]

So, I'm not a monster because I didn't want to go through the fuss of cleaning my fur of your shit blood? Good to know.

[...This lady's sharp.]

[Well, yeah. Siouxsie might be lacking in common sense, but she's not stupid. Even though a lot of Puppets would disagree with that thought.]

"The hunger"...?

[She seems confused for a moment - before her tone noticeably perks up.]

Oh! You mean the whole "cannibalism" thing! So they're complete fools, then.
I mean, I'm a Puppet like the ones I kept talking about, y'know?

A couple sweets and a few papers covered in nonsense isn't gonna keep them safe if I need to eat them.

[Sorry if Saionji hoped to meet another soft heart. Siouxsie's just as dead inside as the rest of her kind.
Nothing's gonna change that. Especially not a bunch of locals who think kissing ass will keep them safe.

What Saionji says next, though, gets a little... laugh out of her, actually.]

There's plenty of ways to kill someone cleanly, y'know!
And yet you haven't even tried one.

Man... bleeding at all is so weird, though.
Stuff's way easier to think about when someone just falls in half with a hollow "ka-thunk" instead - all their life just spewing out of them into the sky like ribbons, soul screaming as who knows what happens to'em...

It's the best thing I've ever seen!
Too bad you'll never get to see it, being human and all. I think you'd enjoy it.

[She laughs.]

Oh, I agree. They're a bunch of idiots but some of the time it works on other idiots so they keep trying. To be honest, it's kind of funny.

I'm surprised they're not all dead yet. Must be because they breed like rats.

[Hah. Even if she's a bitch, this Puppet has some sense. Not much but some.]

I could sting you to death, I could strangle you... but that? That takes more effort than you're worth. The fastest way would just to--[She reaches out about halfway to Siouxsie and made a slashing motion across what would have been her throat. Luckily it's just air.]

Really?

[Beat.]

Actually, that does sound cool but you've never seen someone bleed out as they're trying to beg for their life...or how they squirm. It's messy but the pathetic look on their faces is priceless.

Edited 2016-09-09 08:12 (UTC)

[She's got every sense except for self preservation! It's a wonder she's alive when she stared down the blade of a demon Puppet and laughed.]

Really... stinging, strangling? Even slitting a throat's way too much work - why not just, y'know--
[She mimics the motion of breaking a neck in midair, a grin obviously coloring her speech.]

... I haven't killed anyone myself, though. Why bother when I can get an idiot man to do it for me?
They're a good source of money and free labor!

Have you seen how tall you are? I'm not going to jump to break your stupid neck.

[She rolls her eyes once more.]

...You know? That's sensible. Killing your own meals is nice, though. The look of how they know it's coming but not when? It's the best.

Edited 2016-09-09 08:23 (UTC)

You've got wings, y'know.

[Yep. Right back to being amused - in fact, the way she said that is far less argumentative and more... amicable ribbing.
Not entirely friendly ribbing, but y'know.
Sort of close?]

Mm, I'll have to take your word for it until I've got the shit to kill with.
Most I could do like this is kick someone real hard... smashing a guy's junk is funny, but doesn't exactly kill.

[She pauses, then, for just a moment... before moving to lift her mask a bit.
Just enough that she can see Saionji fully - ow - and so... Saionji can see her, too.
If the Devil's not here, then she doesn't have to worry about taking off her mask, right?]

... Y'know? You're not half bad, for a rotten little shortcake.
What's your name?

You ever try to fly from a standing position?

[It's practically impossible. This is such an idiot...]

Hah, now that's pretty funny. Even a giraffe like you has some uses.

[...She'd be kind of cute if she wasn't such a bitch. Hiyoko sticks out her cheeks slightly.]

Hiyoko.

[Yeah, all these animal insults aren't effecting her at all... not because she gets them a lot - she doesn't - but because, y'know.
Constructed world of Puppets. The only animals they have are fish.]

Hiyoko, huh? That's a pretty cute name, for a fuzzball.

[That's pronounced with zero difficulty, of course - even if Siouxsie's name isn't the kind you'd hear around Japan, she's known plenty of people with names similar.

But she holds out a hand after that.]

Call me Siouxsie.
I'd say it's a pleasure, but I've got a feeling you're only having fun trying to piss me off, huh?

[Hey, it's not her fault that she cant come up with tall insults without bringing animals into it!]

I'm adorable. There's all there is to it.

[Loud sniff. She does hold out her paw, though. Might as well allow this peasant some leniency.]

I could say the same thing about you, puppet.

[Then a handshake she will get!
Siouxsie's smile even curls just a bit more, like she's pleased Saionji even considered returning it.]

Are you trying to call me "Puppet" as an insult? Creative.

But I'm not trying to piss you off, you know... it's just happening 'cause that's how Puppets are, and you're not used to it.
I mean, aren't you always surrounded by other goody-goody humans?

Honestly, it's a wonder you have some sense when all the other humans I've met are just a bunch of sappy halfwits.

[Hiyoko's like that.]

Hey, who said it was an insult?

[A smirk. Of course it was.]

I insult everyone. You're actually not too shitty at making comebacks.

[She shrugs.] You're right, though. There's too many saps around these days. Small wonder they haven't all died off.

Hey, I may be a bitch, but I'm not stupid. I know an insult when I hear one!

[Beat.]

Though, I guess that comes with being a bitch, too.

[You end up hearing a lot of insults in your lifetime when you're not afraid to say whatever you're thinking.]

It's probably a good thing there's so many softhearted humans around, though. Don't you think?
I mean, if there weren't, who would we sucker into doing stuff for us?
Or giving us all their cash?

[And who would they eat? Probably other assholes, but that'd end up being harder to do.]

Hah! You're at least somewhat smart.

[She nods, a smile playing at her lips.]

You're right. It's so easy when there's a bunch of commoners who think you're just a cute kid wandering around.

TEST DRIVE MEME

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i have exactly 0 icons of her smiling without her mask so you get to imagine it instead

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somehow i didnt see the notif for this but GOD CALLING HER A HAG...

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