Welcome to Ryslig's test drive meme! If you're considering apping here, this is where you can try your characters out in the game's setting. A few things to note:
You can only app ONE character per round so choose wisely.
We now have a Quick Game Facts that simplifies the basic information about the game. Good if you want to see what the game is at a glance!
Lots of people have asked good questions on the FAQ, so do take a look.
The reserve date has been announced (it was changed to the 30th to allow a maximum number of people compared to a Friday).
Test drive meme threads can be used for your roleplay sample!
NEW! Players with characters already in the game can earn up to a maximum of 3 coins by replying to potential character threads! You will need to have your normal 20 comment AC in the game. You cannot use this to go over the bonus 10 coins per month total, but you can use it if you are missing some threads to reach that coin total. Same rules as normal bonuses apply.
Sample scenarios:
SCENARIO ONE: So you've just arrived, fresh out of the hospital, and already the natives are trying to get on your good side. Offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through.
Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others.
SCENARIO TWO: You've become hopelessly lost in Lager Woods. Paths don't seem to lead where you remember them leading, and you feel as if you're going around in circles. Childlike giggling can be heard from no direction in particular. Suddenly, you stumble upon another character, who seems to be just as lost as you! Perhaps you can find a way out together. Or maybe they want you for lunch...
SCENARIO THREE: You've heard about the fog, but you've never seen it before. Now, the mist surrounds you. Barely able to see before you, you need to get home - and fast. It's far too dangerous in this situation.
SCENARIO FOUR: The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? NOTE: Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.
[Oh, Tavros. Were you really gonna believe what everyone else said about your best buddy, huh? How long had it been since they last had a good old' hang sesh? Since they last slammed together? The touch of their hands makes his grin widen, lips parting in a more jovial display of fangs than what he'd exhibited before, and Gamzee pulls Tavros to his feet as well. His feet. The last time he saw Tavros, he was a horrid, blueish-white, half-spiderbitch abomination, and he definitely didn't have feet.]
[Wait, that was the last time he saw him, wasn't it? Everything that happened before his arrival on Ryslig seemed like a muddled hallucination. He was all over the place, fucking around and honking as fast as the proverbial wind would take him.]
[Life here was much slower, much bloodier. He still did whatever the fuck he wanted, but getting off the hook for murder was exceptionally easier here. Despite the wrenching and twisting of his stomach practically screaming at him to forget whoever it was in front of him in favor of gnawing the meat from their bones, there was also the familiar (and sickening) feeling of grubs crawling around in there - the same feeling he got every time he happened to set eyes on Tavros.]
Honk!!
[Throwing his head back, Gamzee let out a flurry of carefree, honking laughter in response to the question. It was so refreshing to get some direct fucking confrontation around here, and from the one person he could count on to be straight with him.]
I ain't gonna fuckin' front with you, motherfucker. Got these hungries twistin' all the fuck up in a brother's bilesack somethin' goddamn fierce today, but...
[ He's still wearing socks with sandals, a terrible combination if there ever was one - and the clothes are what he arrived in, still costumed from the ship because he hadn't had the time to change out of these stupid, stupid things. It wasn't a cool outfit, nothing about this was even remotely cool but he'd give anything to go back.
But he can't help the visible way he relaxes or the tentative smile that tugs at his lips - still wrought with nervous energy, like if the chance to run came up he would take that sucker and be gone in two shakes of a tinkerbull tail. Old habits die hard and no matter how much time had passed, it's pretty hard to forget the one friend that pretty much consistently never let him down. If he could count on anyone back then, zoning out incidents aside, he's positive it was Gamzee motherfucking Makara.
Which makes it all the more awkward that he feels so tense, like maybe he's dealing with Vriska way back when - before he could predict her behavior and learned how to just roll his eyes and go along with whatever she said, muttering under his breath and feeling great about tiny acts of rebellion. ]
Okay. I will believe you, and, trust you because you are still my bro. [ He thinks. Maybe. ] And maybe we can sit down and slam about, all of the various things that we have experienced while, I have been dead and you have been alive, and also here? But, uh [ It's been a while since he's done that, and never to Gamzee. ] maybe, until those hungries are settled, I should not be so close?
[On the contrary, Gamzee thought that "deck boy/swabbie" look was... particularly endearing. Even with all the drugs nowadays, blasting his emotions out of sight and mind, that annoying twinge of twitterpation still insisted on hanging around - something he'd pretty much forgotten about since as far back as he could remember.]
[The only other person from back home he'd managed to see here was Karkat. Their meeting hadn't gone nearly as smoothly as this one, and had it not been for the near-instantaneous monster healing he'd been granted, Gamzee would still have the scars and gashes to prove it. Though it should be clarified that he'd beaten the shit out of that motherfucker here, just as he'd done back home. Tavros didn't need to know about all of those altercations. Not now, at least. Maybe later they'd slam about it and chill like old times. Maybe not.]
[Gamzee's eyes drooped a little, back to his default expression as opposed to the eager grin he'd been wearing up until now. His hair was knotted in thick dreadlocks, twisted with seaweed and twigs and flowers, and he tossed them back over his shoulders as an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Was Tavros just giving him lip service, or was he being genuine? Normally, Gamzee would take whatever he said at face value, never doubting the sincerity of his words. Now, he wasn't sure if he actually trusted anyone.]
You fucking kidding yourself up at me, my most limber and bipedaled of motherfuckers!? [He chuckled more lightheartedly, stepping forward and clapping a hand on Tavros' shoulder. Fuck, every time he touched him it felt like a flurry of worms throughout his stomach.] You see how close you was to bein' my mother fucking dindin? Ain't no brother of mine be traipsing his healthy legs up through this bitch all by his fuckin' lonesome!
[Letting go of the boy, Gamzee folded his green arms across his chest, eyes flitting about the forest, though it didn't look like it since he didn't have pupils anymore.]
For reals though, dog. Bein' leafy means I can all get your little sailor motherfucking ass up outta this spooky woods in no times. You down with having yourself an escort as baller as all what's I is, huh?
[ The more he looks, the more familiarity he finds. The more differences too. If this is what turning into a monster is, he's not sure he wants any part of it... No, no he definitely doesn't. Eating people doesn't sound fun, easy, or like something he could even do given his history for botching even the simplest of murderous tasks.
No. No, Nitram. You're supposed to be confident now. You were on a (unwilling) mission to stop the ultimate evil, you went toe to toe with Vriska Serket and won (by running away), and technically died twice, owned Dave Strider in a rapoff (in your personal opnion) and have the coolest ancestor slash descendant in the world.
After hanging around on the pirate ship from hell, what's na old and slightly murderous friend? Meenah had killed all of her friends (for the greater good, though?) and Vriska and Aranea were mind controlling all your mutual friends and ancestors (against their will, which was pretty terrible) so really, Gamzee was small potatoes.
So he tells himself. Taking in a deep, calming breath and trying this smiling thing again. It's less shaky this time, less nervous, and more genuine and appreciative. The jump at the shoulder clap is barely a twitch. The mention of cannibalism, though, earns a slightly pained look. ]
I sort of meant that, we should limit touching until you're less hungry, not that we should not be around each other. But I am definitely happy to walk with you through the spooky woods, which will make them less spooky, and the plant powers are also a bonus that I am appreciating.
[Gamzee's eyes crinkled with the force of his smile, unpainted lips glossy with sticky sap. He could deal with giving his buddy some personal space, even if doing so wasn't something he was particularly good at with anyone. It was in his very nature to touch, to close any distance between himself and whoever he was interacting with at the time, just because physical, tactile sensations were so fascinating to him. Company never ceased to thrill him, no matter how long it had been since he'd gotten away from his hive and in the midst of other, real live people. Ironically, though, there were also times where he couldn't stand the sight of anyone else, let alone himself. For the past few weeks, he'd been holed up in his treehouse in the woods northeast of here with no desire to speak to anyone but the trees and the drifting spirits of the forest.]
[In fact, Tavros was the first person he'd actually spoken to in days. Not that he resented him at all for it. Honestly, there wasn't anyone else he could imagine wanting to see. In lieu of tugging on the boy's arm, Gamzee's instead waved his hand, beckoning Tavros to follow him in the opposite direction.]
You all was goin' at the wrong motherfucking way, my brother.
[A chuckle, though carrying with it a distinct lack of condescension. Gamzee hadn't spent time with his bro in a long, long time. Maybe the fact that he was pointedly refusing to make confidence-harming jabs was somehow confidence-harming in itself? He doubted Tavros would read that much into it. Hanging out with Vriska full-time would thicken just about anyone's skin, but that wasn't reason enough for Gamzee to change the way he acted around Tavros at all. Fuck that freaky-eyed manipuhater, yo.]
No touchies, but a gangsta ain't gonna all tell the fuck in you what it's be all motherfucking safe to not be sticking the fuck close to him, neither.
[Even though it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for Gamzee to exaggerate the dangers of the forest just to get Tavros to stick closer to him, in this case, he didn't need to. If one wandered into the woods here unprepared, they could consider themselves as good as dead.]
[ Missing Gamzee wasn't really something he was aware of. It was sort of hard to miss people after you'd died - there were just so, so, so many alternates of them that it was hard to miss any one version - but Gamzee wasn't one of them. Not a single ghost of his friend - sometimes, he thought he saw fleeting glimpses but it was usually the other Makara. It was weirder than he could put into words. He'd run into so many dead versions of his friends and himself that the lack of one of them stopped being a good sign.
Plus, there was Tavrisprite.
He's not terribly sure how to broach that. While the experience hadn't been that terrible, if there was anyone he thought he could trust not to stick him with Vriska for any extended period of time, it was Gamzee. Much as he wants to ask, there is a time and a place and that time is not out in the middle of the dark woods with a hungry plant-troll monster that already made an attempt to eat him once.
He keeps as close as he dares, which is pretty darn close - but given a choice between a known threat and the creepy, disembodied giggling, he'll take what he can see. He doesn't lag more than a step or two behind. ]
But I was also, so lost by the time I realized that the real world is also, not a dreambubble that I just sort of hoped I'd end up getting out the other side, instead of trying to turn around and get more lost. [ ... ] Which, is actually a really dumb plan now that I say it outloud. Wow. It's a good thing it was you, and not, [ Er ] pretty much, anyone else.
[Unable to ever keep himself from chuckling, Gamzee offers his newest companion a reassuring flash of teeth. Honestly, it didn't sound like that bad of an idea. There was only so much you could do without a nymph's powers while lost in a forest. If he hadn't known the things he did now, Gamzee probably would have attempted the same thing. Fortunately, he was able to pinpoint exactly where he was in any densely-floral area - the unique scents and characteristics of every seemingly-identical plant and tree were now blatantly apparent to him, and even if he found himself at a loss for his bearings, he has the ability to communicate with the flora around him and ask for directions.]
[Honestly, at first it had seemed like a shitty trade-off - being a troll vs. being a nymph - but there were some things he had come to adore about being so in tune with nature. He still thought the paper-thin skin and lack of night vision was completely balls, however. Not to mention that the barest hint if heat would make him catch fire.]
That sound all the fuck like it were to be a good as motherfuckin' a plan as all ever there was to be one, motherfucker. You ain't the first gangsta with his gander bulbs all motherfucking wide who's been all gotten himself turned the fuck around in this joint, dog. Promise in you mother fucking that.
[He had no interest in talking about anything that had happened prior to this moment, whether it be his actions since arriving here himself, or his actions back home. Frankly, he had no regrets over anything he'd done, and the fact that he was unwilling to apologize for any of it was what got he and Karkat in that brawl almost half a sweep ago, already. Karkat was gone, now, though, or so it seemed, and the last thing Gamzee had ever said to him was something along the lines of how he should go shove a acid-lathered spit up his waste chute. Maybe he just imagined having said that. Either way, they parted here on even worse terms than they'd arrived on, which is quite a feat.]
[Looking alarmingly content, Gamzee spun on his heel in the dirt, doing a lazy about-face in order to focus his dewy eyes on Tavros as he continued leading him towards the easternmost exit of Lager Woods. Walking backwards was surprisingly easy for this dexterous circus freak, and his toes seemed to just know where every large root protruded from the soil in order to step over it wordlessly.]
You all been wanderin' your ass through the floaty worlds all this motherfucking time, yo? Sound like a straight-up goddamn bore, especially with spidertits getting her wicked call on of them motherfucking shots, yeah?
[ A+, avoidance Gamzee. Tavros starts at the sudden turn, a little surprised to see how easy Gamzee can walk when he's still stuck picking his way carefully over the forest debris. ]
Not the whole time, I was having fun and doing my own thing. Visiting dead friends, and, reliving happy memories. It was actually really nice. Especially, being away from danger, up until you fused us into that, unhappy creature for some reason that I still don't understand, and we exploded and ended up in the same place. Which was sort of nice, until she decided that we had to go make a mess and made me go along. [ He shakes his head, an errant swing of a horn knocking against a tree and making him wince. ] And then it was...
[ He fishes for a word. It had actually been nice for a while. The two of them doing what they did best, functioning as a team -- really as a team for a while there. He had a say, and she sort of listened to him, and it was nice. And then things just began to spiral, and other people were added in, and there he was. Back to the bottom of the social ladder, not cool or important enough to be anything other than a deckswab. Annoyance settling across his face like a blanket, the corners of his lips tugging down into a sharp frown. ]
The same as it always was.
[ Which isn't strictly true. It was still better than it was, but a taste of self-esteem and being able to assert himself and have his voice heard had gone a long way. ]
So I sort of, told her to fuck off, with my hands? And that we were done, and that she was terrible, and then I flew away.
[ Which is off topic. Whoops. MY NAME IS TAVROS NITRAM AND I HAVE BEEN STEWING ON THESE EMOTIONS WITH ONLY JOHN TO TELL THEM TO, AND I ALSO HATE HIM FOR REASONS THAT ARE BOTH HIM BEING A JERK AND VRISKA TREATING HIM NICER THAN ME. ]
[Gamzee's big, leafy ears perk up as Tavros begins to recount his tale. His eyes fix on him as he continues to practically prance his way backwards over shrubs and roots and felled trees. Absently, he notices how much trouble Tavros is having with them, and starts to silently do what he can to tell the still-living plants to bend out of the way of the kid with the gigantic rack. One by one, branches and bushes and tall grass all seemed to be blown by an erratic wind, turning and contorting themselves into a pathway to allow Tavros through. Gamzee only grinned in appreciation, flicking his hands a bit when something needed a bit more of a nudge, but otherwise not distracting himself too much from Tavros' tale.]
[Listen, if you still had the hots for someone and found yourself in a position to show off the o oh remaining powers you had, what the fuck would you do? That's what he thought.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the fuckin' word train all the fuck up, motherfucker!
You did fucking what!?
[He would address the whole... Tavrisprite thing in a second. Maybe. For now, he needed to hear all about this "told her to fuck off with my hands" thing, because it sounded like a fucking choice story.]
[ It's... really cool actually. He almost gets distracted himself, watching the plantlife part for him. ]
What? [ Wait, wait. Right. Tavros nods a little, grinning a little pridefully. ]
I just, flew off into the air, and called her a jerk and a number of other unpleasant things, and [ he flashes his fingers in the rare, never before seen Nitram Double Barrel Flipoff. ] left these, as a parting gift as I flew into the sky majestically.
[If this were anyone other than Tavros himself, Gamzee would be hesitant to believe such a tall tale. Not that he didn't think his buddy had had it in him to talk some utter smack like that - Gamzee always knew he'd let it loose one of these days. Now that it'd happened, though, it felt so surreal in the best way.]
FUUUUUCK, YO!!
[Erupting into a fit of joyous, honking laughter and covering his mouth with one hand in the universal sign for "OHHH, SNAP," Gamzee had to stop in his tracks to offer said hand up for a high five and subsequent brofist. "No touching" rule be damned. This was monumental.]
Been waiting on so motherfucking long to hear on all how you were to serve up such a hella hearty dish of righteous burnitude like what's that surely mother fuckin' was, dog! Wish I all could'a been up at there to be seeing on her motherfuckin' nasty mug when it all went down!
That's so fuckin' sick, bro! Gotta all be, like, the best goddamn noise to grace these motherfuckin' hear ducts since they sprouted from my mother fucking nug, motherfucker!
[Such sweet justice. Mark that one down on the list of things to slam about later. Gamzee was in the dangerous spot of completely losing himself in the giddiness of having his old friend around, that he forgot the circumstances that had brought him here, or what was going to inevitably happen to him. At the moment, though, he didn't really give a fuck about anything else.]
[ There's no way to keep the smile off of his face. None. He literally can't remember the last time he grinned this wide - surely before he died, or maybe just after he'd arrived in the dreambubbles? Or, no, maybe before he and Vriska had started that whole mad adventure. Having emotions is different after you're dead, maybe because it's not as intense or maybe because they're not quite as important -- at least, he thinks so. Either way, it almost hurts in a funny way. Like old feelings are rushing back and he hadn't even realized they'd been gone.
Gamzee gets a sick hifive and a fistbump with just a little flair added to the end. ]
It was pretty amazing. I wish that we were in the dreambubbles now, because I would definitely replay it for you, and let you see all of it. It felt really, really good. [ Like the culmination of a character arc YEARS IN THE MAKING.
Except he might feel a little guilty, because it's not like she was wrong about it being a bad idea for him to take off on his own like an idiot - he'd gone off on his own and ended up here. ]
It was also definitely, an improvement over the last time. Partly, because I didn't actually try to fight her. But also, because I came out of it with real legs, and real confidence, and -- [ real friends, who are totally happy for me when I do important things for myself, instead of belittling me for it, and she doesn't because she's mind controlling most of them.
Except maybe that's still too soon to say. And he's begun to learn that blindly trusting people who say that they've changed, or considering that maybe they were innocent all along is a fundamentally bad idea. But it's hard not to fall into old habits, really hard and it wasn't like Gamzee had ever done anything bad to him? Other than Tavrisprite, but who knew what the clown was even thinking what that one? ] have also gotten way better at slam poetry, so, we should definitely do that soon?
[An invitation to slam. Oh, fuck, how he'd missed spinning some sweet motherfucking verses out into the impatiently-awaiting air. Gamzee had tried some solo sessions, sitting on the porch of his treehouse in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep. The hoot of owls and rustle of woodland creatures and chirp of crickets were his beat, and he certainly had enough material to work with, considering all that had happened lately, but... The rhymes just wouldn't come.]
[There was something missing, for sure. Maybe he was missing a partner to bounce his verses off of? His hope for renewed slamming vigor was piqued, and his eyes snapped open once more, hands clasping in delight.]
Sooner than motherfuckin' soon, bro! If a motherfucker weren't all pretty goddamn sure on his rhymes bein' solely about how motherfucking much he be jonesin' for a juicy meat meal, he'd all get his suggest on of us all throwin' the fuck down right motherfucking now!
[Except, now he just reminded himself of just how hungry he actually was. Not the munchies, either. It was that primal, insatiable craving for flesh and muscle and blood that was driving him absolutely nuts. Surely Tavros was accustomed to getting by without his legs by now, right? He wouldn't mind sacrificing them as a little snack, would he?]
[Gamzee was now staring a little too intently at those healthy, sturdy appendages, shown off exquisitely thanks to those cute little shorts.]
[ It takes a second to place the look on Gamzee's face, and all of millisecond for any comfort to fly out the window. Never to be found again. ]
Right. So, uhhh, we just - have to get back to town, and then, uh, you can go do what you need to do whereas I will, get accustomed to the town.
[ Every word comes out of him in a rush, tripping over each other and losing any conviction they might have had when overlaid with a wavering note of fear. ]
[Oblivious to the newfound fear in Tavros' voice, Gamzee kept babbling on and on - quickly growing accustomed to acting like his old self. His old self that hadn't murdered willy-nilly without a shred of remorse for anyone or anything. Of course, all resemblance to his former, more pacifistic self was merely a ruse. He was callous and violent to the core, but for Tavros, he'd pretend to be whatever he needed to be.]
Uhh... You came from motherfuckin' the place with the water and the boats, right?
[It shouldn't go without mentioning that there was still a shred of him that delighted in the simplistic, primitive nature that used to be his modus operandi. The fact that he could so effortlessly fall back into that tired routine while Tavros was around was a testament to how at ease Gamzee actually felt while he was with him.]
Took a lot of motherfucking wandering to get your ass all the way up and at this foresty joint, yo. We about halfway between the two main mother fucking hoods - Vandare's where you was coming from, uh...
[He spun on his bare feet, holding his index finger up and pointing forward until he stopped swiveling.]
That'a way. Or, like... I could all be taking you the fuck back with me to all be where fucking them cool gangstas hole up. That's Bavan, in, uh...
[ He scratches the bridge of his nose with a claw, worrying his lip as he rolls the options over in his mind. Being with other monsters would be ideal, right? If he's going to change then it'd be best to do it with people who knew what was happening. People who could... in theory, at least, maybe make it all easier for him.
But... ]
Won't the people in Bavan, also try to eat me?
[ Probably not the smartest of ideas. ]
I hope that isn't really, stereotyping or offensive. But, from the perspective of someone new who has already been accosted, I would worry that maybe next time they wouldn't be a friend, and I would be alone, and I really don't want to die like that.
[ He shifts from foot to foot. ]
And I don't want to die. Or be maimed. Because [ a little assertively, like he's reminding himself ] I don't deserve bad things happening to me. And neither do you.
[ Because what is friendship without bolstering someone up?? ]
[That last part gets a curt little chuckle from him. What in the holy mother of fuck did Tavros know about what Gamzee did or did not deserve? He couldn't be too upset about it at all - it's not like he ever filled Tavros in on any of the awful things he'd done. Furthermore, he wasn't actually sure he could get that upset at Tavros over anything. With a simple shrug of his shoulders, he offered the boy a calm, lopsided grin.]
You could be motherfucking getting eated anywhere them ashy little legs be taking you, my most cautious of motherfuckers.
[Gamzee didn't seem too concerned about the fact that most everyone around these parts was a ravenous, flesh-eating monster. He practically had a spring in his step, still scurrying backwards as the trees began to thin and the last bits of sun were finally able to peek through their leaves.]
Bavan's got lots more monsters what got they righteous squats all up and popped there, yeah... But that also be motherfucking meaning, like, the other fucking folk what be all living there ain't getting up to be, like, treating on you at like some motherfucking freak show or some shit, like what's they all like to be motherfucking doing in Vandare.
Play it motherfuckin' safe and get looked at funny in V-Town, or be kickin' it with the monstery folk in the B-Crib. I ain't gonna be a brother what gets his tell on in you what to be motherfucking doing, yo. You smart enough to all be going with what that little pump biscuit yours get all up to telling in you to do.
[He does go on, doesn't he? Mainly, Gamzee just lets the words continue to fall from his mouth while his mind goes off somewhere else entirely,]
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[Wait, that was the last time he saw him, wasn't it? Everything that happened before his arrival on Ryslig seemed like a muddled hallucination. He was all over the place, fucking around and honking as fast as the proverbial wind would take him.]
[Life here was much slower, much bloodier. He still did whatever the fuck he wanted, but getting off the hook for murder was exceptionally easier here. Despite the wrenching and twisting of his stomach practically screaming at him to forget whoever it was in front of him in favor of gnawing the meat from their bones, there was also the familiar (and sickening) feeling of grubs crawling around in there - the same feeling he got every time he happened to set eyes on Tavros.]
Honk!!
[Throwing his head back, Gamzee let out a flurry of carefree, honking laughter in response to the question. It was so refreshing to get some direct fucking confrontation around here, and from the one person he could count on to be straight with him.]
I ain't gonna fuckin' front with you, motherfucker. Got these hungries twistin' all the fuck up in a brother's bilesack somethin' goddamn fierce today, but...
[He licked his lips, giving a wry smirk.]
Bros before motherfucking... uh, foods, yo.
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But he can't help the visible way he relaxes or the tentative smile that tugs at his lips - still wrought with nervous energy, like if the chance to run came up he would take that sucker and be gone in two shakes of a tinkerbull tail. Old habits die hard and no matter how much time had passed, it's pretty hard to forget the one friend that pretty much consistently never let him down. If he could count on anyone back then, zoning out incidents aside, he's positive it was Gamzee motherfucking Makara.
Which makes it all the more awkward that he feels so tense, like maybe he's dealing with Vriska way back when - before he could predict her behavior and learned how to just roll his eyes and go along with whatever she said, muttering under his breath and feeling great about tiny acts of rebellion. ]
Okay. I will believe you, and, trust you because you are still my bro. [ He thinks. Maybe. ] And maybe we can sit down and slam about, all of the various things that we have experienced while, I have been dead and you have been alive, and also here? But, uh [ It's been a while since he's done that, and never to Gamzee. ] maybe, until those hungries are settled, I should not be so close?
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[The only other person from back home he'd managed to see here was Karkat. Their meeting hadn't gone nearly as smoothly as this one, and had it not been for the near-instantaneous monster healing he'd been granted, Gamzee would still have the scars and gashes to prove it. Though it should be clarified that he'd beaten the shit out of that motherfucker here, just as he'd done back home. Tavros didn't need to know about all of those altercations. Not now, at least. Maybe later they'd slam about it and chill like old times. Maybe not.]
[Gamzee's eyes drooped a little, back to his default expression as opposed to the eager grin he'd been wearing up until now. His hair was knotted in thick dreadlocks, twisted with seaweed and twigs and flowers, and he tossed them back over his shoulders as an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Was Tavros just giving him lip service, or was he being genuine? Normally, Gamzee would take whatever he said at face value, never doubting the sincerity of his words. Now, he wasn't sure if he actually trusted anyone.]
You fucking kidding yourself up at me, my most limber and bipedaled of motherfuckers!? [He chuckled more lightheartedly, stepping forward and clapping a hand on Tavros' shoulder. Fuck, every time he touched him it felt like a flurry of worms throughout his stomach.] You see how close you was to bein' my mother fucking dindin? Ain't no brother of mine be traipsing his healthy legs up through this bitch all by his fuckin' lonesome!
[Letting go of the boy, Gamzee folded his green arms across his chest, eyes flitting about the forest, though it didn't look like it since he didn't have pupils anymore.]
For reals though, dog. Bein' leafy means I can all get your little sailor motherfucking ass up outta this spooky woods in no times. You down with having yourself an escort as baller as all what's I is, huh?
[;o)]
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No. No, Nitram. You're supposed to be confident now. You were on a (unwilling) mission to stop the ultimate evil, you went toe to toe with Vriska Serket and won (by running away), and technically died twice, owned Dave Strider in a rapoff (in your personal opnion) and have the coolest ancestor slash descendant in the world.
After hanging around on the pirate ship from hell, what's na old and slightly murderous friend? Meenah had killed all of her friends (for the greater good, though?) and Vriska and Aranea were mind controlling all your mutual friends and ancestors (against their will, which was pretty terrible) so really, Gamzee was small potatoes.
So he tells himself. Taking in a deep, calming breath and trying this smiling thing again. It's less shaky this time, less nervous, and more genuine and appreciative. The jump at the shoulder clap is barely a twitch. The mention of cannibalism, though, earns a slightly pained look. ]
I sort of meant that, we should limit touching until you're less hungry, not that we should not be around each other. But I am definitely happy to walk with you through the spooky woods, which will make them less spooky, and the plant powers are also a bonus that I am appreciating.
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[Gamzee's eyes crinkled with the force of his smile, unpainted lips glossy with sticky sap. He could deal with giving his buddy some personal space, even if doing so wasn't something he was particularly good at with anyone. It was in his very nature to touch, to close any distance between himself and whoever he was interacting with at the time, just because physical, tactile sensations were so fascinating to him. Company never ceased to thrill him, no matter how long it had been since he'd gotten away from his hive and in the midst of other, real live people. Ironically, though, there were also times where he couldn't stand the sight of anyone else, let alone himself. For the past few weeks, he'd been holed up in his treehouse in the woods northeast of here with no desire to speak to anyone but the trees and the drifting spirits of the forest.]
[In fact, Tavros was the first person he'd actually spoken to in days. Not that he resented him at all for it. Honestly, there wasn't anyone else he could imagine wanting to see. In lieu of tugging on the boy's arm, Gamzee's instead waved his hand, beckoning Tavros to follow him in the opposite direction.]
You all was goin' at the wrong motherfucking way, my brother.
[A chuckle, though carrying with it a distinct lack of condescension. Gamzee hadn't spent time with his bro in a long, long time. Maybe the fact that he was pointedly refusing to make confidence-harming jabs was somehow confidence-harming in itself? He doubted Tavros would read that much into it. Hanging out with Vriska full-time would thicken just about anyone's skin, but that wasn't reason enough for Gamzee to change the way he acted around Tavros at all. Fuck that freaky-eyed manipuhater, yo.]
No touchies, but a gangsta ain't gonna all tell the fuck in you what it's be all motherfucking safe to not be sticking the fuck close to him, neither.
[Even though it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for Gamzee to exaggerate the dangers of the forest just to get Tavros to stick closer to him, in this case, he didn't need to. If one wandered into the woods here unprepared, they could consider themselves as good as dead.]
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[ Missing Gamzee wasn't really something he was aware of. It was sort of hard to miss people after you'd died - there were just so, so, so many alternates of them that it was hard to miss any one version - but Gamzee wasn't one of them. Not a single ghost of his friend - sometimes, he thought he saw fleeting glimpses but it was usually the other Makara. It was weirder than he could put into words. He'd run into so many dead versions of his friends and himself that the lack of one of them stopped being a good sign.
Plus, there was Tavrisprite.
He's not terribly sure how to broach that. While the experience hadn't been that terrible, if there was anyone he thought he could trust not to stick him with Vriska for any extended period of time, it was Gamzee. Much as he wants to ask, there is a time and a place and that time is not out in the middle of the dark woods with a hungry plant-troll monster that already made an attempt to eat him once.
He keeps as close as he dares, which is pretty darn close - but given a choice between a known threat and the creepy, disembodied giggling, he'll take what he can see. He doesn't lag more than a step or two behind. ]
But I was also, so lost by the time I realized that the real world is also, not a dreambubble that I just sort of hoped I'd end up getting out the other side, instead of trying to turn around and get more lost. [ ... ] Which, is actually a really dumb plan now that I say it outloud. Wow. It's a good thing it was you, and not, [ Er ] pretty much, anyone else.
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[Honestly, at first it had seemed like a shitty trade-off - being a troll vs. being a nymph - but there were some things he had come to adore about being so in tune with nature. He still thought the paper-thin skin and lack of night vision was completely balls, however. Not to mention that the barest hint if heat would make him catch fire.]
That sound all the fuck like it were to be a good as motherfuckin' a plan as all ever there was to be one, motherfucker. You ain't the first gangsta with his gander bulbs all motherfucking wide who's been all gotten himself turned the fuck around in this joint, dog. Promise in you mother fucking that.
[He had no interest in talking about anything that had happened prior to this moment, whether it be his actions since arriving here himself, or his actions back home. Frankly, he had no regrets over anything he'd done, and the fact that he was unwilling to apologize for any of it was what got he and Karkat in that brawl almost half a sweep ago, already. Karkat was gone, now, though, or so it seemed, and the last thing Gamzee had ever said to him was something along the lines of how he should go shove a acid-lathered spit up his waste chute. Maybe he just imagined having said that. Either way, they parted here on even worse terms than they'd arrived on, which is quite a feat.]
[Looking alarmingly content, Gamzee spun on his heel in the dirt, doing a lazy about-face in order to focus his dewy eyes on Tavros as he continued leading him towards the easternmost exit of Lager Woods. Walking backwards was surprisingly easy for this dexterous circus freak, and his toes seemed to just know where every large root protruded from the soil in order to step over it wordlessly.]
You all been wanderin' your ass through the floaty worlds all this motherfucking time, yo? Sound like a straight-up goddamn bore, especially with spidertits getting her wicked call on of them motherfucking shots, yeah?
[Way to avoid talking about home.]
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Not the whole time, I was having fun and doing my own thing. Visiting dead friends, and, reliving happy memories. It was actually really nice. Especially, being away from danger, up until you fused us into that, unhappy creature for some reason that I still don't understand, and we exploded and ended up in the same place. Which was sort of nice, until she decided that we had to go make a mess and made me go along. [ He shakes his head, an errant swing of a horn knocking against a tree and making him wince. ] And then it was...
[ He fishes for a word. It had actually been nice for a while. The two of them doing what they did best, functioning as a team -- really as a team for a while there. He had a say, and she sort of listened to him, and it was nice. And then things just began to spiral, and other people were added in, and there he was. Back to the bottom of the social ladder, not cool or important enough to be anything other than a deckswab. Annoyance settling across his face like a blanket, the corners of his lips tugging down into a sharp frown. ]
The same as it always was.
[ Which isn't strictly true. It was still better than it was, but a taste of self-esteem and being able to assert himself and have his voice heard had gone a long way. ]
So I sort of, told her to fuck off, with my hands? And that we were done, and that she was terrible, and then I flew away.
[ Which is off topic. Whoops. MY NAME IS TAVROS NITRAM AND I HAVE BEEN STEWING ON THESE EMOTIONS WITH ONLY JOHN TO TELL THEM TO, AND I ALSO HATE HIM FOR REASONS THAT ARE BOTH HIM BEING A JERK AND VRISKA TREATING HIM NICER THAN ME. ]
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[Listen, if you still had the hots for someone and found yourself in a position to show off the o oh remaining powers you had, what the fuck would you do? That's what he thought.]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the fuckin' word train all the fuck up, motherfucker!
You did fucking what!?
[He would address the whole... Tavrisprite thing in a second. Maybe. For now, he needed to hear all about this "told her to fuck off with my hands" thing, because it sounded like a fucking choice story.]
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What? [ Wait, wait. Right. Tavros nods a little, grinning a little pridefully. ]
I just, flew off into the air, and called her a jerk and a number of other unpleasant things, and [ he flashes his fingers in the rare, never before seen Nitram Double Barrel Flipoff. ] left these, as a parting gift as I flew into the sky majestically.
only* wow not o oh... gamzee isn't that moe
FUUUUUCK, YO!!
[Erupting into a fit of joyous, honking laughter and covering his mouth with one hand in the universal sign for "OHHH, SNAP," Gamzee had to stop in his tracks to offer said hand up for a high five and subsequent brofist. "No touching" rule be damned. This was monumental.]
Been waiting on so motherfucking long to hear on all how you were to serve up such a hella hearty dish of righteous burnitude like what's that surely mother fuckin' was, dog! Wish I all could'a been up at there to be seeing on her motherfuckin' nasty mug when it all went down!
That's so fuckin' sick, bro! Gotta all be, like, the best goddamn noise to grace these motherfuckin' hear ducts since they sprouted from my mother fucking nug, motherfucker!
[Such sweet justice. Mark that one down on the list of things to slam about later. Gamzee was in the dangerous spot of completely losing himself in the giddiness of having his old friend around, that he forgot the circumstances that had brought him here, or what was going to inevitably happen to him. At the moment, though, he didn't really give a fuck about anything else.]
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Gamzee gets a sick hifive and a fistbump with just a little flair added to the end. ]
It was pretty amazing. I wish that we were in the dreambubbles now, because I would definitely replay it for you, and let you see all of it. It felt really, really good. [ Like the culmination of a character arc YEARS IN THE MAKING.
Except he might feel a little guilty, because it's not like she was wrong about it being a bad idea for him to take off on his own like an idiot - he'd gone off on his own and ended up here. ]
It was also definitely, an improvement over the last time. Partly, because I didn't actually try to fight her. But also, because I came out of it with real legs, and real confidence, and -- [ real friends, who are totally happy for me when I do important things for myself, instead of belittling me for it, and she doesn't because she's mind controlling most of them.
Except maybe that's still too soon to say. And he's begun to learn that blindly trusting people who say that they've changed, or considering that maybe they were innocent all along is a fundamentally bad idea. But it's hard not to fall into old habits, really hard and it wasn't like Gamzee had ever done anything bad to him? Other than Tavrisprite, but who knew what the clown was even thinking what that one? ] have also gotten way better at slam poetry, so, we should definitely do that soon?
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[There was something missing, for sure. Maybe he was missing a partner to bounce his verses off of? His hope for renewed slamming vigor was piqued, and his eyes snapped open once more, hands clasping in delight.]
Sooner than motherfuckin' soon, bro! If a motherfucker weren't all pretty goddamn sure on his rhymes bein' solely about how motherfucking much he be jonesin' for a juicy meat meal, he'd all get his suggest on of us all throwin' the fuck down right motherfucking now!
[Except, now he just reminded himself of just how hungry he actually was. Not the munchies, either. It was that primal, insatiable craving for flesh and muscle and blood that was driving him absolutely nuts. Surely Tavros was accustomed to getting by without his legs by now, right? He wouldn't mind sacrificing them as a little snack, would he?]
[Gamzee was now staring a little too intently at those healthy, sturdy appendages, shown off exquisitely thanks to those cute little shorts.]
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Right. So, uhhh, we just - have to get back to town, and then, uh, you can go do what you need to do whereas I will, get accustomed to the town.
[ Every word comes out of him in a rush, tripping over each other and losing any conviction they might have had when overlaid with a wavering note of fear. ]
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Uhh... You came from motherfuckin' the place with the water and the boats, right?
[It shouldn't go without mentioning that there was still a shred of him that delighted in the simplistic, primitive nature that used to be his modus operandi. The fact that he could so effortlessly fall back into that tired routine while Tavros was around was a testament to how at ease Gamzee actually felt while he was with him.]
Took a lot of motherfucking wandering to get your ass all the way up and at this foresty joint, yo. We about halfway between the two main mother fucking hoods - Vandare's where you was coming from, uh...
[He spun on his bare feet, holding his index finger up and pointing forward until he stopped swiveling.]
That'a way. Or, like... I could all be taking you the fuck back with me to all be where fucking them cool gangstas hole up. That's Bavan, in, uh...
Fuckin' the other way.
Up to you, bro.
[Honk. :o)]
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But... ]
Won't the people in Bavan, also try to eat me?
[ Probably not the smartest of ideas. ]
I hope that isn't really, stereotyping or offensive. But, from the perspective of someone new who has already been accosted, I would worry that maybe next time they wouldn't be a friend, and I would be alone, and I really don't want to die like that.
[ He shifts from foot to foot. ]
And I don't want to die. Or be maimed. Because [ a little assertively, like he's reminding himself ] I don't deserve bad things happening to me. And neither do you.
[ Because what is friendship without bolstering someone up?? ]
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You could be motherfucking getting eated anywhere them ashy little legs be taking you, my most cautious of motherfuckers.
[Gamzee didn't seem too concerned about the fact that most everyone around these parts was a ravenous, flesh-eating monster. He practically had a spring in his step, still scurrying backwards as the trees began to thin and the last bits of sun were finally able to peek through their leaves.]
Bavan's got lots more monsters what got they righteous squats all up and popped there, yeah... But that also be motherfucking meaning, like, the other fucking folk what be all living there ain't getting up to be, like, treating on you at like some motherfucking freak show or some shit, like what's they all like to be motherfucking doing in Vandare.
Play it motherfuckin' safe and get looked at funny in V-Town, or be kickin' it with the monstery folk in the B-Crib. I ain't gonna be a brother what gets his tell on in you what to be motherfucking doing, yo. You smart enough to all be going with what that little pump biscuit yours get all up to telling in you to do.
[He does go on, doesn't he? Mainly, Gamzee just lets the words continue to fall from his mouth while his mind goes off somewhere else entirely,]