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Nagito Komaeda || 狛枝 凪斗 ([personal profile] luckless) wrote in [community profile] graveyardsmash 2022-11-30 02:22 am (UTC)

[The answer Atem gives feels like he's being fed breadcrumbs. What are the other routes, Komaeda wonders, and what did he do wrong to never be able to unlock them? Why is that, at the verge of another world ending, that's when he's good enough for someone's love?

The thought might have hurt more if he hadn't had the pleasure of knowing Lila, of knowing her care and kindness. But she's not here anymore... and who knows how much longer Ryslig as a whole will be, too.]


You asked me if I had a bucket list— the answer is that I don't, not really. I had enough money before to do a lot of the things a person could want to do, but my luck made a lot of it impossible.

[An over awareness of the fact that any choice he made could lead to any number of possible bad endings made doing most anything impossible. His life outside of what his luck determined for him was largely spent indoors with a book, the only way he could ensure he'd be safe.]

Before, I only ever wished to feel someone's love. [His voice is quieter still, and he avoids looking at Atem.] But when I confessed my love to Hinata-kun in our world, my feelings weren't returned, and I died right after.

It feels sort of like that now, too. I keep wondering to myself... maybe I'm still unlucky? Like the universe is telling me I can enjoy it for a bit, but not forever.

[A breathy huff of laughter leaves him, though there isn't a single ounce of humor in it. Komaeda finally looks down at Atem with a melancholy smile, and realizes himself a bit belatedly—]

Oh! But don't get me wrong! I'm thankful for this experience now, but it's rather hopeless isn't it? I'm loved, but only at the end.

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