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TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME: JULY

Welcome to the Ryslig Test Drive Meme! Below are a few prompts to get you started, but you may make up any prompt you desire! Please take a look at the navigation page for rules, setting information, and links to reserves and apps. Have fun!

SCENARIO ONE

You wake up on the beach thoroughly drenched with your mouth full of sand. The salt water causes various cuts and scrapes on your skin to sting and the sand isn't helping. The air is slightly humid, ruining any feeling of refreshment you might have gotten from your dip in the ocean. There are lights in the distance but the unfriendly scent of gunpowder fills the air. If you're lucky, you're alone. If not, you might find yourself staring up into a pair of monstrous eyes or down the barrel of a local's shotgun.

SCENARIO TWO

So you've just arrived, and already some of the natives are trying to get on your good side with offers of food, shelter and other luxuries in return for hoping you don't eat them. They even have some helpful pamphlets to share with you. "How To Deal With Changes", "Alternatives to Human Flesh", "What to Expect When You're Expecting (to turn into a monster)" are all great pamphlets. There's even some detailing certain monsters, and the changes they go through. Some of these seem to have been passed down from one monster to the next.

Among these however, are some... not so helpful ones. "Bunnyipyips And You", "Axe Thief Axehounds," and "So you're becoming a Fur Bearing Trout" among others. Sometimes they have marks on them from previous people who had them saying they are lies, or pointing out good "jokes." Then there's the people who aren't happy to see you at all. Glares and silent, judging stares if you're lucky, torches and pitchforks attempting to drive you out of the town if you're not. You may need a friend to help you.

SCENARIO THREE

"Seek us out," the voice whispers in your head, and before you have time to question it you've found yourself in someplace entirely alien. Maybe it's the Fog God's ghostly town of Dyster, where exultant followers dance around bonfires and sing their praises to the skies above. Maybe it's the Fourth God's arcade, with small robots wheeling about amidst the lights and colors of old pinball machines. Only one thing is certain: you are not alone, in this sacred place.

SCENARIO FOUR

The time has come and you've found yourself becoming a monster. Is the change instant, or gradual? Are you familiar enough with monsters to know what's happening, or is it a complete shock? Feel free to pick any monster type for this prompt, but note that you may not get the same one in game.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

i. arrival

[It wouldn't be a normal night without a strange dream to keep his mind active, but to this one's credit, it's...different, somehow. Not nearly as creative as the red room with its vibrant, billowing drapes and that dizzying black and white pattern Cooper can still see with perfect clarity if he closes his eyes and concentrates, but he wouldn't call it boring. After all, he can't think of any occasion where his brain had been able to perfectly replicate the nasty grit of sand scratching against his teeth and lips, or the sour taste of salt water pickling his tongue. And he hasn't even been to a beach in years which means his subconscious is really pulling deep from its reserves or this is, against all odds, really happening. Maybe.

Naturally, he's a bit more drawn to the first option, so he's not particularly alarmed when he awakens — just curious. It's a dreary, ill-kept beach with broken shells littering the shore and the thick stench of gunpowder lingering in the wind, but it's not one he's ever seen before in his travels, let alone anywhere in Twin Peaks. That gives more credence to the whole it-being-a-dream theory, and before he's even had a chance to fully dry off, Cooper's brain begins whirring with possibilities and ways to prove it.

The best solutions are always the most obvious ones, so he starts with what he has here with him. Dreams aren't bound by conventional physics, so it stands to reason that if he were to toss a shell, it could very likely float away — if it were to move through the air at all. But after he throws a few, all of them landing perfectly and unremarkably onto the wet sand with soft plops, it becomes clear that's not the case at all. At least with these. What he needs to do is think bigger.

Which is why he start jumping. Well, hopping. Over and over. With the most stone-faced look you've ever seen, like this is something of dire importance, like the whole world will implode if he doesn't keep hopping.

But, well— isn't that the point?]

ii. citybound

—"What to Expect When You're Expecting". Now, I know exactly what that sounds like, but let me add that subtitled below in barely legible parentheses is "to turn into a monster". Diane, I think it's safe to say that in spite of the horrors that undoubtedly make up their day to day lives, the people here are still able to cultivate a healthy sense of humor. Light in the face of overwhelming darkness, even here. Has it ever been anything less than beautiful?

[Cooper pauses, keeping his thumb planted on the bulky cassette recorder record button. A "gift" from a native, though he's loathe to call it that. What it felt like was bribery, and in essence, he supposes that's exactly what it is. It's why he can't muster his usual brisk energy into his dictation as he sits on the edge of a city bench, not quite hunched but a little too rigid to be completely comfortable.]

It's a shame that I find it so...difficult to embrace it. [—is what he finally adds, and for Cooper, the toneless, tired way he says it is as close as he allows himself to express his actual sorrow over the entire ordeal. He clicks off the recorder and sets it aside with a soft sigh, turning his attention to the rest of the offerings the natives have given him. It's mainly pamphlets but there are a few other odds and ends too, like food. He picks up one he's had his eye on for a while, a little pastry that looks like a cross between a pie and a dumpling, gives it a once-over and takes an experimental bite.

And then promptly spits it out.]

Diane— [And here comes the tape recorder again as he's sputtering all over himself trying to rid his mouth of every last crumb of that...whatever the heck it was.] Any doubts I had about this being a land of monsters have just gone up in smoke. The things they do to pies— It's inhuman.

[Our hero, everybody.]

[wildcard]

[follow ur heart]

Edited 2017-07-15 05:46 (UTC)

[i - on the beach]

[Gavin wasn't entirely sure what had happened. One moment he was on his private jet on his way back to Palo Also, and the next thing he knew he was washed up on a beach somewhere feeling like he'd been hit by a brick.]

That pilot of mine is going to get fired so fast his head'll spin.

[He's idly talking to himself, never all that great at keeping his internal monologue from becoming external. When he looks up, there's a gun pointed right at him.]

Get that fucking thing out of my face before I pay someone to ruin your life.

[He's a little dazed and doesn't quite seem to comprehend the fact that there's a real, loaded shotgun pointed right at his head. If he did, he'd try to play up the charm instead of going straight to insults and threats, but as it was he was still trying to figure out which beach he was on.

Anyone who managed to get the gun and its wielder away from him would be thanked profusely later on.]

[ii - pamphlets]

Don't like that one, don't like that one - eugh, that's worse than the videos they made us watch in health class.

[He tossed pamphlet after pamphlet behind himself when he decided that the contents didn't please him. None of these possibilities looked particularly pleasant, although some were worse than others. He obviously didn't want to be a fur-bearing trout, although that one seemed to be a joke.

He opened up 'Alternatives to Human Flesh'. Not a pleasant title, but it would be good to know. However, instead of finding vegan flesh alternatives he was greeted with a little warning about how not every monster can survive on flesh, and consider trying blood, organs, souls, or energy if flesh isn't hitting the sport. Great.]

Do I really have to get mentally prepared for all of these possibilities? And has anyone written one of these about, say, coping through meditation?

[Because obviously, his faux-spiritualism was going to help him now.]

[iii - changes begin]

[He's spent the last month in denial. Just because something happened to everyone else didn't mean it was going to happen to him. He's a lot of things most people aren't: a CEO, a billionaire, a brilliant public speaker...the list goes on and on.

But then the fog rolls in, and the pain starts. Pain like he'd never felt before, pain he couldn't really place.]

There's seriously no anesthetic for this?

[The pain increases, and he's crumpled up on the ground like he's just had the shit kicked out of him. The pain comes...and then, after what seemed like an eternity but was actually only a few minutes, it goes. He's got no idea what happened, and frankly he's afraid to look. Still lying in the middle of the streets, he grabs the nearest passerby by the cuff of their pants (or by their fur, or their ankle, or their tail, and so on).]

Does it look as bad as it feels?

[ooc: Feel free to pick a monster for him in your reply, otherwise I'll roll a random one in my next reply to you!]

[wildcard]

[ooc: whatever you like!]

1
[Sylvia wakes up feeling groggy and stiff, but not horribly shaken up. This is far from the first time she’s woken up on a strange planet, so she just assumes she crash landed. Groaning, rubs her head and blinks at her surroundings.]

Ugh Wander maybe next time we try landing somewhere that’s not the middle of the ocean.

[As she looks around, however, she realizes that Wander is nowhere to be seen.]

… Wander?

[She attempts to get up before something hits her:

Her whole body feels different. She finally gets a look at her hands and she nearly screams.

Why isn’t her skin blue why does she have ten fingers. She looks at her reflection in the water and realizes in horror that she doesn’t recognize her own reflection anymore.

She stands up suddenly, feeling like she’s about to panic. Okay Wander is missing, she’s on a strange planet, and she doesn’t know what she is anymore. In an attempt to calm herself down, she takes some deep breaths and starts pacing the beach. It isn’t exactly helping, but what is a tiny relief is eventually seeing someone in the distance.

In a vain attempt at help, she calls out to them.]

Hello? I think I’m lost… or dreaming. I dunno, but do you know the way to the closest orbbal station?

[Surely this kind stranger will know what she’s talking about, right?]

4 (naga)
[Honestly, as much as she hated the idea of eating sentient beings from now on, the idea of turning into a monster wasn’t the worst. She was sure it couldn’t be any worse than waking up as a human, at least. (Plus to ease her worry over eating sentient things, she’s been writing a list of all the humans she’s come across who have been rude to her in some way. It’s justifiable to kill jerks, really!)

Sure, losing some of her teeth wasn’t fun, but it was only two and they grew back as some pretty cool fangs. And she’s been feeling pretty easily cold lately, but hey it’s summer at least. Really most of these changes were more or less okay if she got to become a cool monster.

But what she didn’t expect was suddenly having splitting pain in her legs as she was trying to get through her day. As much as she tried powering through them it was getting so bad that she couldn't think. Suddenly, around midday, the pain shot so badly through her legs that she cried in pain and passed out.

When she comes too, she instantly wants to pretend that didn’t just happen. Her? Fainting and passing out from a little joint pain? Surely she was just overreacting. Maybe she's just out of practice or something.

She attempts to get up but she realizes that not only her legs are in searing pain, but her legs… don’t feel like legs anymore.

Looking down, she feels her heart stop when she realizes that instead of legs, there is a long snake tail below her waist. She stares in horror for a few moments, unable to find her voice at first.]

Where… where…

WHERE ARE MY FLARPING LEGS?!

Edited 2017-07-15 05:49 (UTC)

[You know, it's a real shame.

...There just aren't a lot of snake chicks on this planet, most of them are dudes. Like, what's up with that? You'd think snake booty would be in higher demand, what gives?? Dandy doesn't have many thoughts, but when one does pop up in his head, this is usually it. Bring on the snake chicks!

So imagine his surprise when he sees some kinda snake chick lying on the ground, one he hasn't seen before. It's like his prayers have been conveniently answered, he can even overlook the horrible screaming and the weird made-up swears! Well, seems like it's time to play his favorite game: bother random women.

He approaches her from behind, hands in his pockets. Looks like someone needs a shitty dolphin man.]

Yeah, dontcha hate it when that happens?

[...He's not really trying to be funny, sometimes he doesn't have legs and it sucks.]

[Dandy has no idea how lucky he is that Sylvia can't read his mind because any one of those sentences would be enough to forget her state of mental anguish over losing her legs to actually pummel him.

But as it stands she's still panicking a little so she just stares at him as she tries to find her words some more.]

But... what... What the grop are you talking about?!

[Is this normal? He has legs, maybe her legs can change back too?]

Uh...

[...Okay, so maybe he can't look past the weird swearing. It's...it's really distracting.]

...The hell is a grop?

[Dandy...the woman doesn't have legs.]

[Well sorry she's a Disney but still has to swear constantly.

At least that question gets Sylvia to find her words for a little bit, if only because jfc Dandy is now the time?]

What do you mean "the hell is a grop"? Aren't there more important things going on right now?!

[Like her legs???]

Edited 2017-07-15 06:28 (UTC)

[See, when this happened to Fiddleford the first time he managed to have it happen out in the woods where nobody could hear him scream. And then he was stuck there for three days. So really Sylvia is lucky that she's managed to pass out somewhere with people, because it means there's a fellow naga here to be sympathetic. He's also been thoughtful enough to nudge her out of the flow of foot traffic. Her new tail would probably hurt even worse if people were stepping on it, right?]

Hey -- hey now. S'alright.

[He is not great at talking himself down from his own panic, but he is going to try and help break her out of hers.]

Hey! There's nothing more important than the pursuit of knowledge!

[Says King Blockhead.

Dandy grumbles a bit to himself, like a spoiled child. Can't even...answer his question...gotta be all...worried about HERSELF. You know what she is? Selfish. That's right, he can see right through her.

Well then, he'll show her! OH will he show HER!!

...By offering her his hand. Just like everything else about him, it's pretty stupid looking, what with it being...webbed.]

...You ever see a snake before?

1. Arrival

[Gregg claws at the sand, unsure when he ever landed on a beach that wasn’t condemned at Possum Springs. He feels like he just fell asleep in a pile of Angus and got suffocated without the lovingly part of it.

It smells, kind of like Possum Springs but without the familiar smell of construction. But waking up and using his eyes, he sees this is not Possum Springs. Or Bright Harbor. It doesn’t look like anywhere.

He rubs his face to try and paw away the wet from his face fur when a new fact hits his scientific mind. Fact: his face had fur, this feels smooth, shaven. Another fact, his mouth feels nothing like a muzzle but smooth and rubbery. He takes a look at his hands. They’re rubbery shaven gloves, not fuzzy paws for Gregg Grabs. He laughs.]

Hooooly shit. I’m like, those chickens on sale. I bet I got kidnapped and like, had horrible chicken experiments performed on me.

[He got up to get the lay of a beach called this beach. As he called it, right now.]

Woaaah watch out for Chickenman! A freak of god! I shouldn’t be aliiiiive!

[Could it be if he hadn’t said these things a gun wouldn’t be pointed at his face? Maybe. When you’re the Snalcon Lord, these things shouldn’t happen. But they do.]

Great, cops. I didn’t even get to do anything yet!

4. Changes (Goblin)

[If you told Gregg he was going to become a horrible monster he would have replied: wow when does that start and how much does it pay.

Too bad it doesn’t pay in cash.

It started when he noticed he couldn’t reach places he normally could. He tried telling himself ‘it’s normal, it’s fine’. Because who can afford to shrink and see a doctor in this economy?

But soon he found going out into the sun a pain. Not a ‘oh man I hate leaving my room and getting fresh air relatable’ kind of pain, a ‘hey that sun is starting to sting bad’ kind of pain.

Gregg about ran circles, moving every piece of furniture in his room before nightfall. Of course during his anxious gotta do everything state he didn’t pay much attention to his shoulders until going outside when he began to sprout spikes from his shoulders.

It hurt. Even when it broke through his leather jacket and made it look more punk rock. He’d grit his teeth and bare it for his new look. Like his fingernails. Or his weird changing ears.]

Yeah. This is bad. But it’s worth it to be punk.

[He was just halfway away from his abode as he kept trying to crawl out, doubled over in agony.

It sucked. He was such garbage. He couldn’t even take a few changes to his ears, face, and body. Thank god Angus wasn’t here to see this.]

This is all part of being punk rock, don’t worry...

[Maybe in awhile she'll thank Fiddles for getting her out of the way, but for now she is mildly offended that she

It isn't hitting her yet that he's also a naga, don't mind her.]

Whaddya mean it's "alright"? My legs are missing! How am I supposed to move like this? I... I can't run anymore without my legs.

[What a gentleman.

She tentatively takes his hand but she's getting her bearings enough that she is prepared to flip him if he tries anything creepy.]

I've seen snakes before! I just didn't expect to flarping turn into a snake!

[She's gonna keep doing it, Dandy.]

Stop it.

[He can't even bring himself to be creepy right now. She's too annoying. Nothing kills the mood more than made up Disney swears, who knew?]

Okay, so what DID you expect to turn into?!

[Because she had to know this shit was coming, right? She had a whole month to prepare...]

W-well. I manage just fine.

[His tail shifts nervously beneath him. The lights that shine from his eyes and along his spine flicker a little.]

Please, ma'am, I know it's awful discombobulatin' and all. I didn't mean to offend, I'm just tryin' to help. S'what we have to do here, look after each other.

Hey, if it's for punk rock.

[Look, it's not that Dandy doesn't care, it's just when you've seen this song and dance ~~twice~~ A MILLION TIMES, you sorta lose that initial panic you get when you see someone on the ground doubled over in pain. Been there, done that, he's pretty sure the guy's gonna live.

...So Dandy isn't sure why he's choosing to stick around. He sorta just stands above Gregg, hands in his pockets as he watches him...embody a music genre.]

I'd hate to see how you'd handle metal.

[You know Sylvia likes to think she's adjusting to the pain and becoming a monster thing rather well (minus the freak out over losing her legs, she's fiiiine). So she figures she might as well try to help by being moral support to the new monsters here.

And let's start with the poor kid who seems to be in a lot of pain right now.]

Does being punk rock include crawling like that.

[She couldn't resist.]

[All this time she had the perfect creep repellent and she didn't even know.

And maybe once she's done freaking out Dandy can teach her those fancy Earth swears.]

I dunno, something with legs? All my changes before this have been really vague!

Mood? Eff metal.

[Gregg is kind of glad someone is being casual. He'd feel much worse if someone took pity on him.

The most noticeable thing about this thing about this guy is his hair so he can dig that, going for some kind of vintage 1950s thing maybe.]

Punk rock's about disrespecting the establishment...and right now the establishment is my body.

I'm disrespecting my body big time.

[Hey it's cool, we're all cool here but Gregg's cooler because he's in pain. Pain equals cool.]

This is gonna make a cool song about spike shoulders and crawling.

One day.

Not now.

[To be fair, those Earth swears are still Space swears where he comes from. Get with it, girl.

Also the more Sylvia gets riled up, the more Dandy can't help but follow suit. Truly he is a gentleman.]

Well it looks like your body agreed and gave you one big giant hint! Surprise, you're a snake, baby!

[Hearing that makes her stop dead in her tracks. Fiddleford insistence of just wanting to help reminds her too much of her friend and, well, she of all people wouldn't want to disappoint his memory.

Grop has it really been a month since she's last seen him?

Her face softens a little bit as she clears her throat.]

Right, you're just trying to help. I can get through this. I'm sure this is nothing.

I can't wait to hear it, buddy.

[... She should actually help him, shouldn't she?]

Uh, do you need anything, by the way? An ice pack or something? I could probably carry you home.

[It's not fair your galaxy doesn't have strict censors, Dandy!

Well great job Dandy because him getting riled up is, in turn, really starting to rile her up too.]

Is this a thing you do? Do you just go around and insult people you've never met before?!

[Dandy pauses, his anger subsided.]

Yeah... kinda.

[Dude, that's creepy, this chick is psychic.]

...

[Well... that's not an answer she expected. Enough that her own anger subsides.]

I guess I can respect your honesty.

[She guesses.]

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TEST DRIVE MEME

dale cooper (twin peaks)

Gavin Belson // Silicon Valley

Sylvia | Wander Over Yonder

4 HERE WE GO

this is a disaster already

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snorse time time to snorse

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Gregg Lee | Night in the Woods

i can't wait until she punches him somehow

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knock out one of his fangs tbh

4 I guess I'm just gonna tag all the change prompts

4

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rip fiddleford

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